Is he slow fading me? How to handle please?

[BuzzButterfly]

Hi. I've been seeing a guy for four months who I met on OLD. He's a lovely guy and we've been on lots of dates, usually message a couple of times a day etc.

He's always been busy (kids, busy job, plus lives an hour away) but I've only seen him once in the last fortnight. Usually I'd see him once a week. His reason for less is school holidays, so he's been visiting relatives. My heart makes excuses and says he's busy/tired. But my head says a man in love would find time to see me.

He still phones and sends some emails/texts but the frequency is less. Previously he has been more romantic/forthcoming in his emails. He's a nice guy so maybe he doesn't want to hurt my feelings. I don't know whether to tell him I love him! But I expect he would have a good idea of that from all the kisses I use in messages etc do I just play it cool and see if he becomes more keen again?

Btw though he's been visiting relatives he's still had a few 'normal' days when in theory he could have seen me....

He could be.

Suggest a meet-up (specific day/time) and see how he responds.

The school holidays is a fair enough reason for not being around, tbh, especially if he's been visiting relatives. I don't think 2 weeks of behaviour, when you've known him only a few months, is enough to write him off to be honest. If things go back to "normal" after the Easter holidays, you'll have your answer.

It could be either. Running round after kids during hols is exhausting and time consuming so possibly it is just that. Hols are virtually other I’d monitor for a couple of weeks and then decide.

Suggest a specific meeting time once the children are back at school, how he responds will give you your answer. Tbh school holidays are always crazy if you have school children, if things go back to normal after the holidays all good, if not then at least you know.

Why don’t you see how he is after Easter, and if he still seems evasive you could always ask him directly if everything is ok.

Looks like you're at different places in the relationship. You want to tell him you love him, he's been side tracked with commitments to kids and family. I also wouldn't write him off yet over this, you're clearly over analysing more than he is, but I'd be cautious that you're too invested too early and he's not ready for all the love stuff yet.

I second the others who say wait til after Easter, hopefully will resume back to normal

I think you won't really know until next week- maybe organise a meal out or tickets or something and see what he says

I think 4 months, seeing someone once a week is much too soon for feelings of love, as you really don't know each other.

Do you have children?

Just give it time, get on with your life, try not too overinvest until you really do know him.

Did I imagine that we've already had Easter?

Thanks! Ok I'll not think much into it until next week. Yes I have dc too though not school age. I don't mind not seeing him as long as he's still interested. I guess time will tell then. I will hold off declarations of love though it seems really unfair the man can do it but I have to wait..(He hasn't said 'i love you' but has said he's in love)

I would definitely hold back for the moment. He could be withdrawing or he could just be busy - very difficult to tell.

I always treated new relationships rather like climbing a tree and creeping out on a branch - I’d go carefully until I sensed that the branch might crack and then stop til I was sure it’s safe to continue.

Don’t do anything just yet. Men hate it when we women stress and analyse stuff. Easter holidays finish today so let’s see how he is next week. Don’t do anything extra just let him come to you.