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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is he just trying to put me off?

6 replies

limoncello84 · 13/04/2018 19:48

I have a male friend at work that I see as purely platonic. He's married, but even if he was single, he's not my type. About 5/6 months ago I had a little dalliance with another guy at work and as soon as I told my friend about us, he was really down on the guy. It was nothing serious, just a flirtation/chatting etc but my friend kept on about all his negative traits and he's heard this and that etc. In the end I'm not sure if he even warned him off but it fizzled out anyway. It did make me wonder about my friend though, and I saw him in a slightly different light. I was more guarded etc around what I said to him.

Fast forward to this week. I mentioned one of the men we work with in conversation work related and he started on about how he's getting married etc (to my 'okay...' ??) response and started with the negative comments again. I really want to be paranoid, but it just seems so coincidental. I was telling a friend who knows work man outside of work and he isn't getting married at all, so that was really weird.

I don't really know what I'm asking but don't want any drama at work so don't want to vent to anyone there. Does it sound like he's just trying to put me off these guys? There's a semi attraction to work man, but he's gut a girlfriend so not an option so it just seems bizarre

OP posts:
Platterheed · 13/04/2018 20:52

Run like the clappers.

He’s a wrong’un alright.

I had a ‘friend’ like this and he was a bloody nightmare. Got in the way of any potential relationship. I had to cut him off in the end.

As it’s a work situation, polite distance and tell him NOTHING.

Stick to the weather and politics. In passing.

limoncello84 · 13/04/2018 21:21

I just don't understand. Was your friend married too? He gets nothing out of it :/

OP posts:
SandyY2K · 13/04/2018 21:27

He can't have you and doesnt want anyone else to either. Jealousy on his part.

limoncello84 · 13/04/2018 21:34

That's what I don't understand, he seems to genuinely love his wife etc and we are work friends only so no 'potential' for anything even if he thought the nonexistent potential existed.

It was eerily similar when he started commenting on the recent man to what he did with the first one. Keeps telling me how two faced etc he is. I've kept my distance since the first weirdness but I didn't see it coming again. One, because this time the man has a girlfriend and two, my comments were complimentary but only in a work sense

OP posts:
Platterheed · 13/04/2018 22:24

Limoncello, no, he wasn’t married. He was just odd.

He never ever stood a chance but I blame him for a really lovely lost opportunity.

I had an old neighbour who was over the top ‘protective’ too. He was scary because he knew when I was in and out and used to comment on when DS would be away with his father etc.

Some people don’t realise they’re being that way.

Onemansoapopera · 14/04/2018 10:02

Sounds like he's being protective over you as a female friend would, but because he's a man it feels loaded. He knows you better than we do.

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