Hallo
I really need to off load, I feel extraordinarily sad today as i think I have fallen in love with my close friend. I am married to a man who doesnt actually speak unless, I speak to him or ask him questions. he is a nice man but is so quiet and disinterested in me or famiy life, he is like a lodger in our house. we have three children, one with special needs.He is a workaholic who either sleeps or goes on his phone as soon as he has eaten his dinner at night. I am desperately lonely and sad and crave emotional and physical connection. I have grown very close to a male friend. weve been friends for years. i see him every day. we are very close and discuss everything from the superficial to the deep. I have not discussed my marriage with my friend, only to say briefly that we are like ships passing through he night, with his work etc. I checked out of this marriage 5years ago ,when i got a panic attack one evening. It was a culmination of stress, single parenting, overwork and exhaustion on my part. my husband was upset, promised he would reduce hours etc but after 2 days, everything went back to how it always was. he is essentially a lovely gentle man who shows care and kindness towards us when sick or sad but its temporary. Work is his first priority.I am outgoing, sociable and chatty. I crave companionship. Sorry I am rambling now. Anyway, my male friend is genuinely kind, loving .He cares very deeply for me by his actions and we seek eachother out at every given opportunity. He is complimentary about my personality, my physical appearance and my about my work. I feel great when with him and through our contact. we text eachother multiple times a day, normally instigated by him. he knows Im lonely and miserable in my marriage but Ive never told him this, if that makes sense.he has alluded to us doing activities on our own and regularly talks about the future in terms of us both. he is single and would often say why can he not find a woman like me to marry, which sounds vain but im trying to keep things factual. could someone please guide me or advise me. i cant talk to anyone in real life yet. thanks for reading this.