Light-hearted Q. - do you think someone saying they're smitten is a precursor to them saying the L word?

[JesusTapdancingChrist]

First up: I am fully aware that I sound like a ridiculous teenager so no need to point it out 👍😂.

New relationship. Am 100% falling for him. Certain he feels the same way. We're determined to be sensible and to take things slowly as we both have DC. Unfortunately my hormones haven't got the memo. Have found myself being on the verge of reflexively saying I love you a few times but have caught myself on in time.

This morning he told me he was totally smitten. In your experience do you think this is a precursor to someone saying the L word?

Just in case you missed it in the title, LIGHT-HEARTED. Thanks .

No I don't think it is it just means they are really keen well imo. Dp told me he loved me after a month I felt the same so was all good but if he said to me he was smitten I wouldn't think he was wanting go tell me he loves me any time soon.

Yeah, a sincere I'm smitten is pretty far down the road to I love you, in my (smitten) experience.
Have you talked about being exclusive?

We had the exclusive chat after date one 😂. We are spending every single minute of free time we get together. We have both been pretty blown away by how natural and right it feels being together and how comfortable we are with each other and how happy we are.

It was a very sincere declaration of smittenness. I haven't stopped grinning all morning .

Spending every free min together and exclusive since date 1 doesn't sound like taking things slowly.
Are you waiting on sleeping together or something, or not actually taking things slowly at all?!

I wouldn’t read anything into the word smitten. Remember you’re in the lust bubble at the moment

It meant whatever he intended it to mean, but I suspect that it means what you would like it to mean. If I said that to a woman, it would mean that I was very close indeed to being in love with her. Best wishes to you both.

I think that's what men say when they're, we'll, smitten Barca breath away from falling in love.

No. To me, smitten means “I love getting in your knickers” rather than “I want to spend my life with you”.

That being said, I might just be a stone-hearted old harridan so maybe just enjoy your new bloke and don’t listen to internet opinions too much!

I met a guy last year who posted publicly on social media he was ‘smitten with someone’ right after our first date .

Three months later he dumped me from a great height without warning, then vanished. I thought everything was going brilliantly.

I’m obviously a worn-down cynical old bat - but try not to get too carried away too quickly, OP. It hurts more if / when they vanish.

How long have you been seeing each other?

If a fella said the word 'smitten' to me, I'd cringe. It's like something my mum would say 😂😂

I love the word smitten 😂

In my experience people who are verbally expressing how into you they are are on the road to love, all being well!

I would say so. In my experience 'smitten' is feasting the water for love.

If everything else in the relationship feels natural and unforced then I would put your worries to one side and just enjoy the getting to know you period.

My gut feeling is that Smitten is a bit of a weasel word. It's possible that he's picked up on your keenness and feels a little pressured to declare "something."

Chill and enjoy the ride. I hope it works out wonderfully for you.

Thanks for the replies. Interesting stuff!

Just to clarify I'm absolutely not fixating on words/declarations. Actions/how we treat each other matters so much more than what we say and on that score, he's amazing. I would like to say that the keenness is definitely not one way, in fact I think I'm playing it cooler than him 😁 (let's ignore the fact that 10 minutes ago I was literally sniffing my pillow because his smell is still on it ).

Just very giddy and besotted. It's been a long and rough road for me getting to this point and now I just want to enjoy being with someone who makes me as happy as he does.

Thanks again everyone .

omg, the number of times I've thought 'omg, this time, this is a thing, this feels right'.

BE CAREFUL, and diall back a bit. Force yourself to go away for a weekend or something.

How come he was there ten minutes ago and has now gone at 9.30 on a Friday night?

Vegan huh? He wasn't here 10 minutes ago! He stayed here last night hence the pillow.

Celtic I'm the opposite. I've been doing online dating for a while now and haven't experienced anything approaching this kind of instant ease and compatibility with someone. I'm very cautious/cynical when it comes to relationships, am definitely not a 'fools rush in' type. We're just really enjoying each others company. We have loads of stuff planned over the coming months, gigs booked, he's taking me away for my birthday. It's just so much fun to have someone to do all that with again.

Have you met each other's friends or family?

I think the moment I believed my (now) DH2 really meant everything he was saying was when his friends were agog because "he never usually is gooey like that". But we met through work so we had friends in common from the start, which obvs made it easier.

Somerville He messaged me on a dating site but we had already met once before irl as we have a mutual friend (whose opinion I have total faith in and she can't say enough good things about him). When we met there was something there but he had a partner at the time.

I've met his dad and his sister and his best mates are really keen to meet me - we're trying to sort a date asap.

I've been around and on MN long enough to know all the red flags that could possibly pop up in the early days of dating. So far, I'm only seeing green ones.

oh yes.. smitten. I remember smitten..

I had been divorced then met a certain someone, OLD.

I was smitten alright and had to try and dial it back as much as possible but the smitten-ness just stayed.

Now been together two years and very much in love.

Well it’s all subjective, but deffo a pre-cursor in my book. Being smitten is the absolute best!

Enjoy

Don't dial it back!

There is always a risk that you will get your heart broken when you fall in love, but why deny yourself the fun over a 'what if'. Enjoy it, it doesn't happen often.

I've been with now dh for 3.5 years now, met on Tinder, can honestly say I am still absolutely smitten with him and massively in love also. I hope it never goes 😊

Great that you have a mutual friend, OP, and it all sounds very positive.

Not to scare you but after hearing "smitten" when we'd been dating a fortnight, I heard "I love you" a month later and then "marry me..: go on, I dare you!" 3 months after that. (He knew I can't resist a dare )