Feel sick - I've said I want to leave him

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Hope I can get some much needed advice and support. DH and I have been having problems for a few months (together 11 years), mainly around his late night drinking (he's not violent) and how our life (2 DDs) revolves around his schedule. He's also been really hard on our 7 year old recently and if I say anything he says I'm undermining him. Last straw was our recent holiday with my parents. They paid and although I know 2 weeks with the in laws is pretty stressful he was just so ungrateful and rude. They told me as much. On our plane journey home he was drunk and embarrassing and I lost it and told him I didn't want to be with him anymore. He's not talking to me now and I just feel so sick. Please help 😔

Would you want to continue the relationship if he stopped drinking? Or is it over for you? Has he ever tried to stop?

This doesn't sound good.

Sure, holidays with in laws are stressful but appearing rude and ungrateful isn't the way to go.

How long ago did you tell him?

Do you want to be with him or don't you? If you don't, I'd suggest you contact a solicitor first thing.

Well he's clearly saying he's "in charge"
He's probably does other stuff you've just accepted over the years.
Have you looked at the relationship thread re abusive behaviours? It's quite insightful.
I don't like it that he's sounds hard on your 7 year old?
You may have different styles of parenting., or he may be a bully.
Is he drinking a lot? Does he see it as a problem? Is it affecting his ability to work?
My father was a drinker, abusive and hard on us all - he hit us - "children should be seen and not heard" - he was cruel actually - it's damaged us all greatly.
You need to look at your husbands childhood to see how he was parented to give you an idea.
Does he want to get help. If not then I'd seriously think of leaving.
🌺

Why stay with someone who makes you and your children extremely unhappy !?

Why ?

Is he having a hard time at work? Do you think the drinking is because he is stressed? All you can do now is let the dust settle and see if he shows any sign of regret for his behaviour. Has this behaviour being going on for a long time? I do feel for you. I remember times when married life was really stressful and I wanted out but eventually things settled down and in later years we are very happy together.

Thanks all. He's a good person at heart but very self centred. This only happened yesterday and I do want to make it work. But at the moment he doesn't seem to want to talk/take responsibility. So it feels like it's all my fault. I'm hoping the next couple of days give me a better idea of what's next, once he has time to process everything. It's just this feeling of overwhelming nausea and uncertainty that's so hard to bear. Especially with happy kids who have no idea what's going on x

You have to be strong OP. Don’t be passive and wait for him to decide where you go from here. Set out your terms and conditions for continuing with your marriage and stick to your decision.💐

Best to grasp the nettle now that you've said something.

It clearly isn't all your fault, OP, so please make that very clear both to yourself and to him.

Agree with Ickyockycocky

Don't sit in limbo, take control of the situation and set out your terms... The drinking. The attitude. How he deals with the kids. The revolving around his schedule.

Put your foot down and mean it.

I'm going to write everything down so I can clearly say what I need to. I will grasp the nettle and I won't accept that it's all my fault. Thanks