Would you still get on a plane if one of your family members were ill?

[LilacBearberry]

I don't want to write too much... but:

Was due to go on a short flight (somewhere still in Europe) with my parents and sibling (both of us are young adults) and I had a gallstone attack at the airport. I'm awaiting surgery.

This obviously stopped me from getting on the plane. Rest of family were very supportive, but when the time came for them to get on the plane, they did go. My mum did leave a key and money, etc. I wasn't just stranded.

They were meeting other family out there, so felt they had to go.

As I've had many attacks, they didn't really feel like they needed to stay behind.

I feel extremely weird about the whole thing. Would you have done the same thing?

Also, not all gall bladder attacks ease on their own. You can have further complications.

How did they think you were going to get home, if you weren't well enough to get into a taxi?

I definitely wouldn't have left you in the state you describe and if someone I knew did the same as your family, I would think a great deal less of them.

Had you checked in ? Travel insurance, assuming you declared the condition, should cover most of your cancellation costs. It would have been nice had one stayed with you to make sure got home ok. Presumably you did in the end.

I honestly don't know about this one. I do know i would never leave my son anywhere. However, this is an on-going condition. They will have seen you being sick and recovering many times before, and tbh, there isn't much they could do. I would have made sure someone was looking our for/after you though. Had it been sudden illness, i would have expected one of them to stay for def. At 19yo, lots of people live indepedently of their families. I wouldn't have left you, but i appreciate that some would.

No, I wouldn't have left you in that state. I wouldn't have left a friend, let alone a daughter. Sorry to say, but your mum doesn't sound all that nice.

I had bad gall stone attacks and while they were savage they passed after 2 hours . Came again after a month or two. So everyone missing a flight and me recovering quickly would have been silly. Do you know what set it off . For me it was coffee. Are you not having your gall bladder out.
I am a mom and probably l or dh would have stayed behind or we would have called a gp to come get you.

They don't seem to be very concerned about you. Sending photos of the hotel? Seems a bit heartless knowing you are missing out on a holiday AND in pain. I wouldn't leave anyone, family or friend, alone and in pain, in an airport.

I have a DS about your age. Hell would freeze over before I'd leave him alone in the circumstances you describe.

At 19 I had my own house & mortgage, if I was ill I would have had to have just dealt with it.

If it was that bad you could have alerted airport staff, who could have got you an ambulance, that's the only thing I think they did wrong. If you were that bad they should have alerted someone who would have come with wheelchair & bucket to get you to the medical room whilst waiting an ambulance.

Yes the pain is bad, it's a nasty condition to have.

I'm guessing that they either had no insurance or didn't let the insurance company know of this pre-existing.

If you were flying with a budget airline it'd be a struggle to get a new fare for free, especially if you're letting them know afterwards. If you alerted airport staff it might bolster your case, but there probably will be a fee involved.

How many days are they there for?

It does sound unusual.

Is there more context ? I wonder if you have extensive medical history and your Parents are used to this?

19??? I would have stayed with you! No way I would leave my 19 year old son behind at the airport,in pain and alone, soI could go ahead with my holiday and met other people. I would find it impossible to enjoy being away.

At 19, neither would I have been such a martyr to feel my family should go away and have fun when I was experiencing that level of pain.

I’m very sorry OP, this is one of the things you will carry with you for things to come, but the precise sort of thing that will give you the freedom to say no, when they ask you to do big sacrifices for them.

I think your age changes it. If you were my age, 37 with children of your own and your mum and dad went off then it’s more understandable. You would be a fully fledged adult and able to manage. I know you’re an adult at 19 but it’s so young really. I wouldn’t have left you if you were my daughter.

My Mum would have wanted to stay with me but I wouldn't have let her.

At only 19 I think that's really harsh. Ok if someone was around to take you to hospital and keep you company generally though.
How did you get to hospital? Are you there now? Hope you're ok.

I wouldn't have left you.

I had my own home at 19 but I don't think my DM would have left me in those circumstances either. I wouldn't have forgiven her very quickly if she had, anyway!

I have two young adults and I wouldn't have been to leave either of them in a situation like that. The only exception would have been if I was flying to attend the funeral of one of my parents and I knew that my child would be cared for by a relative or friend but I still think I would have postponed the flight. Hope you are ok...God, gallstones are so painful, poor you.

Hi Op

Sorry to hear you've been poorly and hope you are okay now.

I think it makes a difference if you had anyone at home to look out for you and your parents knew that? Other family/partner/friends?

My parents had this situation where they had to leave me at the airport although to be fair it was different as I wasn't unwell we had a visa mix up where mine wasn't approved in time but theirs was. I don't think they would have gone if I was ill although who knows. I think they struggled to decide but knew my boyfriend would be there for me when I got back home which meant they felt okay with it. Could that be part of the reason?

Hope you are okay

I would have stayed.

My mum and I have a complex difficult relationship. She wouldn’t have left me at 43 in the state you were in, never mind at 19. She can be a PITA, but she was there when I had an operation in 2012 (no partner) and when my brother was hospitalised with what turned out to be diabetes, she flew 24 hours to be with him. (And he was with his partner and her family!)

But that’s her - sickness terrifies her (her parents died v young). Maybe your mum has a different attitude to illness? How has she been when you’ve been ill in the past?

Sorry But no I would not have left you on your own. I've had gall stones (finally had gallbladder removed after 18 months of attacks) and if the attacks are at the point of needing a&e for iv morphine (Jesus do I remember those) then you should not have been on your own. I used to pass out in the toilet whilst puking. If you had passed out anything could of happened to you.
Gallstones on their own are not too dangerous but there are complications that are associated with them to do with the liver and pancreas that can be deadly (don't want to scare u op, these complications are very rare and happen in cases that are left far too long).

Are you far away from surgery? I started writing a food diary so that I could eliminate triggers and found the main were Caffeine (especially chocolate) and meat with fat on (ie bacon rind). I also started following a low cholesterol diet as gall stones are basically caused by cholesterol hardening and this helped reduce the number of random attacks.

I'm glad you feel better hun. It really is shit, it used to take me 24 hrs to recover from each attack and sometimes I'd be rushed in twice as the morphine in my system would wear off before the attack.
xx

I would have stayed with my child but if it was me I would have insisted they went.

Not for a moment would I have left you... even if you were 45 years old and I were your elderly mum would I have left you. I'd have waved the others off and stayed behind, unquestionably.

I find it totally unusual behaviour.