Finally left my partner - how can I see this through?

[Oystersbutnopearls]

I posted on here sometime last week I think about our relationship. Both in our 20s. Been together 3 years. There has been consistent emotional abuse (I will admit on both parts as I have retaliated).
I have finally plucked up the courage and have left. I'm at my parents' house for the foreseeable (I'm waiting on a job abroad so will be relocating if I get it)

However, he's been sending messages about how I've torn him apart and he knows there's no point fighting because I hate him etc etc and I feel horrifically guilty. I have cried most of the night but I know I want to leave no matter how much I feel I may love him I need to get my life back. He stopped me going out, stopped all my friendships, stopped me working. Why do I still feel so bad?! I am the cause of his upset so I feel horrendous even though he has worn me down so much there's nothing left - I have no sense of identity and can't remember what it was like to have a life.

As I walked down the road towards my mum's car with my suitcase I thought "I am free". And I know this is the right thing why does it feel so awful? How do people see this through and get over it?

I still have to go back to collect the rest of my stuff.

Sounds like you have done exactly the right thing.

We get absorbed in to toxic relationships, and feel it is the norm. You've taken the biggest step and that is leaving! Do not feel guilty...him saying those things, it is more emotional abuse & mental torture.

Go be YOU! Go do what you want to do. Go find your friends. Go do things you enjoy! It's sh*t now, but it will get easier & better.

I truly wish you all the best.
Be proud & stay strong!

Guilt is a worthless emotion that has no real use in this situation lovely
He's still abusing you with all that email crap, block delete and Baton down the hatches.

He's a storm that has to be weathered, until he gets bored and moves on to his next victim 💐

Little trick I did when leaving my ex in a similar scenario. Write down a list of all the awful things he said and did. Carry it with you everywhere. When you start feeling sorry for/fond of him, read it.