Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Changes in the wake of the divorce

3 replies

Karmelita · 11/04/2018 16:36

At the beginning of February, my husband told me he wanted to divorce me. We've been together for 17 years, 13 of them married and have a child aged 7. I almost don't remember myself without him by my side.
I saw it coming. He grew distant and uninterested a couple of years ago. I told him repeatedly that I would like to spend more time together, that I was feeling unloved and uncared for. Instead, he carried on as if my requests did not matter to him.
So now he has either met someone else or, as he says, wants to live a different life without me and to start looking for a more suitable partner. After two sessions of couples counselling, where he said he most definitely wanted to end this relationship, I did the impossible. I stopped begging him to stay and swallowed the pill.
I had been a SAHM since I gave birth, working part-time, but not really earning significant sums of money. After he broke the news to me, I found a full-time job and a smaller flat for me and DD to move in. I also found a new school for DD, where she can stay the full day until I'm back from work. I have most supportive parents and friends.
Yet tomorrow I am to sign the papers for this new flat and will be moving out in a month, and I'm dreading it. My first day at work is o Monday and I'm dreading that, too.
I cannot believe it's over. Everything I say and do is like in a bad dream. The worst thing is, despite all the harsh words my husband said to me over these two months, I still have feelings for him. In the course of our prolonged relationship he did walk out on me, several times, in fact, but always came back and this is what makes me think that he may change his mind. SO silly of me, but can't help it...

OP posts:
Enko · 11/04/2018 17:02

Its natural to want a happy ending. So no not silly of you. But can i just say how strong you sound new job new school support all sorted out . You can do this and ina years time this will all be good and you will know you did the right thing.

Until then you will find support here when you have low days
Flowers

Karmelita · 11/04/2018 20:31

Enko, thank you! I sound stronger than I really am. When I was hopscotching from one job interview to another, spending the evenings looking for a new place to live and decluttering, I was happier, because the logical ending of this loomed somewhere on the horizon. It almost did not feel real. Now, however, it's all settled - and I'm not wanting it. Not ready for the final leap.
I feel like a cowardly warrior not really wanting to go to battle but left with no other choice.

OP posts:
Pickleypickles · 11/04/2018 20:36

I agree with enko you dont want to be with a man who says horrible things and doesnt want to be with you. Go and prove to yourself and your dd how strong you are and forge your own life. It must be scary starting afresh, but i bet it turns out to be the best thing you ever did not the worst Flowers

New posts on this thread. Refresh page