Need advice about what to say today

[WhatdoIsaytohim11]

Dating a guy for 2.5 years. I work full time and he is making small amounts of money working from home but not enough to pay tax. Stays over at mine most nights.
He lives with his parents.
We’ve had the discussion about futures and I have a plan to overpay my mortgage and be mortgage free by 55, then hopefully retire. He has no plan (other than to live with me, and no pension). We’re both 38.
He’s very affectionate and loving and I’ve never had that before. My ExH was emotionally abusive and manipulative.
So, the BF stays over but doesn’t contribute towards my bills (which are £1300 a month) and I have two kids (10 and 13).
I feel a bit suffocated by him. I never have a night to my self as when the kids are with their Dad, the BF is here.
I feel that it’s not the right relationship for me as we have different priorities.
I don’t want him moving in as he’s not got no way of paying his way... but I feel resentful sometimes when he’s here, that’s I’m paying for all the bills.
I’ve mentioned the council tax thing several times (I pay single persons council tax and he stays over five nights a week sometimes) but he says nobody will know and I won’t get into trouble!
We’ve discussed him getting a proper job and he said he is looking for work all the time. He doesn’t claim any benefits either so won’t get a government pension will he? ( I don’t think).
So.... I just need to know what to say to him. We’ve split twice before and he was heartbroken and crying and I took him back both times as I felt bad and a bit lonely.
It all sounds a bit pathetic when I read it back! :(

How're you doing, OP?

Hope he has been leaving you in peace.

Hes trying to worm his way in , hes a cocklodger , tell him he cant stay and have dates outside the house if you want to keep seeing him

well done!

Second the suggestion to change your locks anyway. Well done and all the best for a brighter future without a dead weight round your neck. You want unconditional love and affection, perhaps get a lovely rescue dog or cuddly cat.

He sounds very immature. You have two
Kids to support and don’t need a third. You did the right thing. Well done x

Well done, he’s a leech and you’re well rid of him. Definitely agree with pp that you need to change your locks just to be safe, I’d also delete and block his number, the crying is a manipulating technique 100%.

he'd get a state pension - every UK national has a right to it, but that's not enough of a contribution if he has no property or bigger pension. Who knows maybe yo dumping him will be that kick that will wake him up and get a job. I don't think he sounds like a manipulator - just hugely immature and not trained into work ethic.

*he'll get a job

pgtips, I think you have to pay national insurance (or have it paid for you eg when claiming benefits) for 35 years to get full state pension - it's not an automatic right just for being a citizen.

You have done the right thing by ending this relationship. I agree he was like another dependent child. Did you ever do or go anywhere outside the house ? Cinema, park, holiday ? You can check your state pension entitlement on HMRC website using your National Insurance number. You are expecting to retire at 55 ! State pension will not be paid until you reach 65/68+ I would be interested how you are going to fund your retirement - maybe a bit more planning ?

He took his bottle of port back.......says it all.

Well done OP.

Walk I mean a basic state pension is a right - I wasn't talking of full pension - that's why I said it would be not be enough to contribute properly unless OP was swimming in money and could afford to support a partner (and wanted to). Basic pension would just pretty much cover his basic needs.