Will it always feel this shit

[howdoesitgetbetter]

Divorce related .

Honestly I don’t know if I am coming or going and feel horrible about lots of different things.

Does it really get better and how?

STBX is not an easy person and we have been estranged for months and months but we are still in the same house. This whole process seems to have turned me into a horrible person, but the only way of protecting myself against his angry outbursts and the horrible things he said, as well as to get a fair (ish) settlement, was to forge on relentlessly.

It has been, and continues to be, horrible.

It's horrible that you have to be in the same house and won't get any better till one of you leaves. X

That sounds horrible OP.
I will get better. Every time he tries to get a rise out of you just walk away and say in your head the insult you impulsively wish to say back. Don’t give him the satisfaction!
Do you have DC?

I agree with the above - being stuck together in one house is excruciating. My STBX comes to see DC once or twice a week and I cannot bear to be near him.
Can you go away for maybe just a weekend to give yourself some headspace?

Thanks for your messages. The court agreement we have says that he is supposed to move out later on this month. Not sure if he will or if it will happen in increments after that.

The run up to the court agreement was very stressful but now I am in this horribly sad kind of dead zone. We are completely estranged and I think stbx is already with someone else that he got together with literally nano seconds after it became clear we wouldn’t be staying together. We do have dc and I feel sorry for them .

I honestly don’t think it will get better until you are living separately or maybe when the divorce is finalised. Sorry to say.
I had a particularly acrimonious divorce though.
Good luck 💐

Thank you. You too. I think ours is pretty acrimonious too. H’s behaviour - the things he has accused me of, what he has said to me and about me during the run up to the divorce - all of these things have really ramped up the bad feeling between us. Now I am left with sadness, loneliness and panic about setting up the new weird life that will be mine once things settle down. It’s not easy.

The main diffficult thing is that I am looking for work, without much success, and that is making me panic more than anything else.

howdoesitgetbetter, I can totally relate. This is very much like my own situation. You're doing the right thing keeping yourself busy with finding a job. And something will turn up, it most definitely will. Chin up!

Thank you karmelita - you too .

Oh you poor darling. A big hug from me to you.

I too am going through a similar situation although thankfully my stbxh has moved in with his girlfriends ( he has two! ) and divides his week between both of them. It's quite disgusting. He was internet dating and shagging around within a nanosecond 🤷‍♀️ also!

Anyway, that aside please take heart in the knowledge that things will calm and you WILL find a job. It's only a matter of time. Once he has moved out you can recover and rebuild slowly.

Even though it's been the hardest decision with the most almighty hideous consequences, I feel assured I have done the right thing and although things will be bumpy initially, I can live truly and honestly. This feeling alone lifts my soul every morning.

Keep the faith and remember divorce never brings out the best in people.

Hugs to you

The situation will get better once the STBEXH moves out, as another poster said try not to rise to his bait - been there easier said than done.

Good luck on the job hunting - something will turn up it is just find it.

Wow goldie your stbexh must have something having two gf’s !!!

I allowed my 1st ex's to stay in the house until he got himself sorted. He put a keylogger or something on my pc. Got access to all my emails and msn messages downloaded them gave them to his solicitor when we were going through our divorce. Be careful!