I've been dumped

[SummerRoberts]

I never in a million years thought I'd be writing this.
My partner of 3.5 years got home tonight and broke up with me. Just like that.

He said he's been unhappy for months. I hadn't noticed a thing until last Friday. How stupid am I?! He's been strange with me since he got home Friday evening, all weekend, although Sunday seemed fairly normal, we made a roast and watched a film.

We've been TTC for almost 2 years. We've just finished paying off a huge dream holiday that's booked for September. He's made all these plans and commitments with me in the past few months when he's supposedly been unhappy.

I'm currently in the spare bed at my mums after she came to get me. What the hell do I do now? I can't afford to live alone. I don't want to live alone. I love him and I want to be with him. Nothing changed for me. I thought we were the real thing.

I don't even know what I expect anyone to say to this. I'm just gutted. So heartbroken it hurts.

OP....I really feel for you. Can you stay at your Mum's for now? Just till things are more settled?

Ah, that is very sad. I am sorry that this has happened to you, you must be devastated. I know it’s a cliche but try to get some sleep tonight. Everything else can wait until morning. Best wishes

Sounds like there is someone else. Sorry op

Thanks Ajas. Yes I'm going to stay here while I get my thoughts in order. I'm going to have to ring into work tomorrow. I don't think there's any way I can even think about getting up and going to work. That's where we met and although he's long left there, everyone knows him and knows we're together. Were together.

Thanks guys.

The first thing my mum and best friend asked was do you think there's someone else? It hadn't even crossed my mind but now I've been thinking and analysing everything, I couldn't rule it out.

Argh my heart hurts for you OP. Utterly rotten and I'm so sorry Please try and rest, though god knows I know it's difficult. This is not your fault. It will be okay, even if there's no way in hell it feels like it right now.

Did something happen after work on Friday maybe? Work drinks cop off with someone?

Sorry OP that really hurts

Every time I try and put my phone down and sleep I'm suddenly wide awake again. I'm doing all these stupid buzzfeed quizzes and reading stupid articles and trying to think of anything but him.

He was home at usual time on Friday but had a few late nights in a row the week before. We hadn't seen much of each other that whole week as I was then out on good Friday. I believe he was where he said he was though as I saw pictures and he was texting me quite a bit.

He was so cold tonight. It was like we didn't know each other. Very matter of fact and wouldn't try and let me talk him round or try and give it another go. Why didn't he tell me sooner if he was unhappy!

My dp's just told me he doesn't know if he loves me anymore. He was so cold. I'm devastated. Sorry op . If we knew each other I'd come and cry with you.

Why didn't he tell me sooner if he was unhappy!

Because he was waiting till' something was in place before he told you. That's what happens. My ex from years ago suddenly dumped me and moved out without warning....he'd been waiting till' he'd saved enough money for a place of his own.

That was all. Nobody else....he just wasn't happy but didn't leave as he couldn't afford to...so he bided his time.

Wondered how long it was before someone said he had someone else.
That may be the case, it may not.
Either way trying to figure it all out tonight will drive you mad.
But bare in mind op sometimes people just snap. Falling out of love with someone, being unhappy, feeling like you want to end it, all these things take time to process; especially if you still care for someone. You know you're not happy but you know it's going to hurt somebody you care about.
I knew my marriage was over, but I struggled with trying to accept that and finding the courage to end it.
3 days in a hotel alone for a work trip made me realise how unhappy I was and I ended It the day I got back.
I'm sure to my exh it came out of the blue (even though he now says he agrees with my thinking but had just buried his head in the sand).
I also acted indifferent (cold from his perspective) but that was because I didn't want to mess him around and give him false hope. I knew after those days alone that I was sure it was over.
I dont think it's nice or helpful to suggest someone else; you're hurting enough.
Give yourself time. Stay at your mum's and be kind to and patient with yourself.
It feels like the end of the world right now but you will come back from this.
It's no lie that heartbreak is one of the worst feelings in the world but it, like everything else, will also pass.