Please help....can't stop thinking about another man

[UG189]

Please don't judge me too harshly. I'll keep this brief. I've been with my partner for 5.5 years, we're each others first love. I'm 26, he's 29. We have no children and are not married (we mutually decided that isn't for us). He's literally perfect and is the best partner you could ever wish for. I love him so much and we have built alot together. About a year ago I noticed someone on my way to work. I saw him every day and we started to glance at each other as we passed one another. I started to think about him quite alot but just because he was an attractive guy and made my morning walk to work a little nicer. About 4 weeks ago we got chatting and he asked for my number. I told him straight away I had a boyfriend so could not date/talk to him. Anyway, we still see each other and have been stopping for lengthy conversations. This is the only time I see him and I have no intentions of cheating on my long term partner. The problem is, I literally can not stop thinking about him and find myself making sure I definitely see him each day. I feel really awful for feeling like this as my partner is a wonderful man. Please advise me on how to stop thinking about him. I've tried avoiding him and it makes my thoughts worse!! I told my partner about this man and he as i wanted to be honest about my I had been off with him. Understandably he was worried but told me that we need to put more passion into our relationship. Since then we've dated more and been more intimate but i dream of this other man while doing so which I know makes me a horrible person. My brain is mushed. Please advise!!

You're only 26! No ties...it sounds like you're having an emotional affair and they tend to happen when there is something missing in a relationship.

If you were my daughter, I'd advise you to end things with your partner. You're obviously not as committed as you think.

I don't think age is a factor here. Do you want to be with your partner for the foreseeable future?

I wouldn't rush or panic too much. We all have these infatuations from time to time, it's human nature. You have done the decent thing and told him that you are not available, now you need to distract yourself from thinking about him... (it will fade, with time!)

Sorry to add fuel to your fire, but perhaps this man is the love of your life. Your partner may indeed be a wonderful man, but that may not mean you are meant to be with him forever.

It could just be the fact that it's 'exciting'and new that makes this week so enthralling op.
You don't know this man so it all adds to the illicit fun.
You say you have no intention of cheating on your partner but emotionally are you not already doing so?
You have your whole life ahead of you,you can either end with your boyfriend and see what happens with the new man or ensure you don't see mystery man again at all and make a real go at repairing your relationship(of course there's the third option,to be single).
Do what is best for you,and be honest with your man.
Hope it all works out for the best.Good luck

Man so enthralling!typo.

I’d suggest something may be missing in your current relationship. Time to be very honest with yourself - are you still ‘in love’ with him and sexually attracted to him - it doesn’t sound like you are. Doesn’t mean you don’t adore him but it’s not the same.

How are you OP?

We're human and it's perfectly possible to have attractions and even meaningful connections with more than one person at a time. Don't beat yourself up about it. Doesn't even mean anything is 'wrong' with your primary rship. But if the terms of your main rship are monogamy, you need to find acceptance with that and back away from temptations...