Horrendous break up!!

[helsdavis]

Can anybody help with advice on difficult ex’s. I separated from my husband of 14 years at the end of October after discovering he had been having an affair for over a year! He is a controlling person and seems to have the upper hand in this separation even though he is at fault. We are currently having mediation and he wants a 50/50 split on house and is refusing to pay spousal maintenance even though I have a low income job and he is a high earner. I don’t feel we are getting anywhere in mediation and fear that we will have to go to court...I’m terrified!!! He is also fighting for increased custody of children I don’t seem to have any rights. Has anyone been through a similar situation?

Is he still in the house? Go through CMS for maintenance, don’t even speak to him about it.

Hi, I'm in a very similar situation. Married 14yrs, 4 dc and the discovery of a year long affair last July.
He's turned in to a controlling narcissist who blames me for breaking up the family because I refused to take him back and had DC 1 weekend night and two week nights (I still do all school runs) so pays ZERO child maintenance or help with the joint mortgage and wanted half the child benefit.
See a solicitor. You can't mediate with crazy, I've tried and I keep getting battered down,

What he wants isn't what he will get.

Mediation is only one step. It is to show you have tried to solve things amicably.

If that doesn't work then he can't refuse whatever is court ordered.

Don't be too worried about mediation. What does your solicitor say?

I’m meeting solicitor next week. I’m worried about the cost of everything as well. Going to court is big money I believe and I could end up worse off!!

Thanks All, he has left the house but I think you are right Fortygin I can't mediate with him and so need to go to court.

I went to court through my divorce...its not too bad and it does bring things to an end....good luck x