So NOW he wants us to go couples counselling...

[foreverday]

I left my partner 2 months ago, moved out last month only after 3.5 years of moods and tempers

I stupidly saw him again as he told me he's changed or wants to...he hasn't

I've decided enough is enough and I can't put myself through it anymore

We couldn't get through a month without ending in an argument
He would huff, puff, get angry and I always used to take him back because I was weak

He's now just sent me an email
As I've had to block him on what's app and fb as I've told him once and for all I'm done and now he's saying just one session at relationship counselling ?!

He's 60k in debt, can't manage his money - one massive reason why we split as he can't provide financially, lies about money, work a holic, stressed and angry at life

What about ME? It's always been about him...poor ex as he's been through a lot

When I left he said if I had agreed to counselling we might have had a chance...now to email me asking me to go to one appointment

I'm trying my best to move on
He's dead weight...dragging me down

Am I horrible for feeling like this?

No, tell him to fuck off. He had his chance and.now it's gone.

Nope. You are the most important person in your life & you're looking out for you. You don't mention dc some I'm guessing you don't have them but on the off chance you do you're still doing the right thing. He's using counselling as a tactic to get you back. Can set his email address up to go straight to spam?

I'm thinking he needs your financial stability.

He would huff, puff, get angry

^ I couldn't be dealing with this behaviour.

Did I read that correctly: 60k?? Woah.

Yep 60k

He's been bad with money since I met him, it got better ( with my help ) as I helped him sort his finances
Not by paying but just helping and he's still not good with money

He sounds a proper twat. You sound sensible. Put him behind you and move forward. Who needs all this crap?

He needs your money and wants to hook you back.

Just tell him to stop contacting you and block him on email toom

Don't go back!!
You are free now. Breaking up torture and one of my biggest regrets is that i went back to a man i left once and 'forgave'. He promised to change. For 2 weeks he changed.

He wants his mummy back.
He wants you to make everything right for him.

He will surely drag you down with him. Run like hell.

If he has moods and tempers he needs counselling. Not you.

So even now his gesture says you are partially responsible.

He isn't accepting he has a problem so nothing will change.

You don't owe him another try.

Nope nope nope nope you are not horrible, you are sensible, you are moving forward and you are owning.

He had a chance at counselling, he blew it.

Of course, he also had the chance not to be a massive arsehole in the first place, and didn't take that either.

Instead he chose to huff, puff, and get angry

He can fuck off. Block his email.

Why would you go to couples counselling when you arent a couple?

He's desperate. He's so used to you taking him back that he thinks he just has to say the right things and look like he's trying and you'll do it again.

Stay strong, you deserve better than him.

If you were to agree to counselling, what would you stand to gain? Anything?

After I called it a day, XH suddenly suggested the counselling he had contemptuously refused for years. The counsellor asked us what we wanted to get out of it. I said I wanted to find a way to split amicably. XH said he wanted us to get back together. He told the counsellor it was her job to keep couples together. She told him robustly that it wasn't. It wasn't a happy series of sessions for all three of us, really. The only thing I got out of it was a demonstration that other people also thought X was a twat.

Well I don't want to go because I don't think it will work

Don't get me wrong I'm not against it but if it takes a stranger to make him realise what an ass he has been to me without coming to that conclusion on his own I don't think it will work
You are all right, I do deserve better but like my mum said it's my fault taking him back each time

No relationship is perfect but the way he has treated me isn't how I want to be treated

It just may have taken me some time to get there

One month on and it just feels like a lifetime but I've done a lot in a month

He also has £1500 on my credit card as I let him use my 0% facility and he is paying me back a couple of hundred a month so wanted to stay amicable for partly that

If he doesn't pay, lesson learned

He's 43 and went back to live with his mum 6 years ago after his marriage failed and never moved out. In fact moved in with me pretty much but never officially coz it was on and off so he probably does want his mummy back
She wraps him in cotton wool and does everything for him too like I used to do
His counsellor said last time he needs to grow up and he said that was hard to hear but he agreed

I have felt for him and he has some good points but to the detriment it's made my happy self suffer

Keep walking.. do not look back

I'm trying 😁I'm struggling but I am trying and I know I won't go back x

You're well rid.

He also has £1500 on my credit card

I'd consider it a price worth paying for peace of mind, if it gets too much for you.

If worse case scenario I don't care paying it, I knew that's the risk when I offered
Do I regret it? Nope, he was my boyf, i loved him and I'm not going to change who I am for anyone
I would however certainly think twice before trusting anyone again and I would be much more careful and picky at that