Hi all,
I have been with my bf for 7 years now and we have a 10months baby together( baby wasnt planned). I have been with him since I was 13 years old (soon to be 21 in July) so I spent All my teenage years in a relationship. The first few years were great but when I moved in with him when I was 17 it was great and felt all gown up but I got to know what he was like properly. We don't communicate when we have issues and when we argue, I feel like were always point scoring with ecahother like its Compatition of who's had the hardest day. We argue over the most stupidest thing ever and the arguments can get nasty with him calling me names and making out everything my fault, I always feel like I am bad person. So I would always be the one to say sorry even if it was him that started it.
when I fell pregnant in 2016 we did become closer, and I thought this would sort him out and change him. It has in a way hes great dad but after a gave birth to baby, after a month everything was back to square one again. Just recently I have been starting to stick up for myself and he doesn't like it.
He got a job around two months ago now (it's only taken 3yrs) and I'm happy for him but I think he think he doesn't have to do any thing around the house and he always saying to me that I don't appreciate him working. I do everything for him, i: be his alarm clock, make him coffees, make him pack up, clean the house, wash/dry/put away his clothes, cook him tea, get his clothes ready for work, go to the shop for him, and everything else inbetween, as well as look after our daughter, all day everyday. He also make me feel guilty all the time, the other day I told him I was going into the main shopping centre and he said "it's alright for some init, am working All day". It made me feel so guilty I didn't go out. He does it almost all the time. Sometimes I don't even have to say anything for him to say I don't appreciate him. It make me so angry when he says that to me cause I just think wheres my appreciation after 3 years of doing everything for you.
A week ago yesterdsay I got the point where had enough and I lost it. He was looking for a jumper so he could go out. Over the weekend he had worn all of his jumpers once then put them in the wash pile. It was bank hiday weekend and I was really busy so didn't get chance to do much washing. So hes Looking for a jumper and then asks me to get him one. I asked him ifhe had worn them once an put them in wash pile and he Sed yes. I sed for god sake. He got stressed and then sed well you've had all weekend to washing and I told him I've been doing it for the past week, and I lost my head. I told him was over and that I was gonna move out he next day and he didn't take me seriously. He went and then later when he came back I told that was definitely over and that I was leaving him. He then realised I was being serious and he started to cry and begging for another chance say my he will change(heard it so many times) and make and effort. He kept asking if he could hug me and we can talk it through. But I didn't want to sort it out I got sick of the arguments. Later that night like a stupid cow and let him put his arm around me. So I gave him one more chance to try prove himself. I feel like I gotten no where in this past week, he been nicer to me and Cleand to the bathroom but still complaing about the cleaning am doing. I am so unhappy and have been since new year. I don't now if am being selfish if leave him because am unhappy.
Whats made me unhappy, is the name calling, arguments, never makes an effort with my family, I'm always cleaning up after him, doing everything for him, him stressing out at me when thing aren't right or going right, and feeling like am a skivvy.
Am not asking him to clean everything, just pick up after him when gets in from work like putting boots and bag away instead of dumping them in the middle of the hallway and put rubbish in the bin.
I feel like am a moaning about it but its not the way I want to live, I don't know who I am anymore cause am providing for his happiness that much am not happy anymore.
So am I being selfish and petty over this?? I just want to stop feeling like this, Its constantly on my mind all the time now and I feel like am going crazy!!
Sorry for ranting on and
Thanks for reading guys