I am in a bit of shock. I was in my partner's bedroom after having slept there and he shouted up to me to bring him something from his room. Whilst looking for it I found a notebook. I opened it (yes…I know) and saw that he had written some really terrible things about me.
It wasn’t a letter to me exactly but it was written as if he was addressing me (IYSWIM). Among other awful things he wrote that he wasn't sure whether he fancied me and that I was one-dimensional. He said I had a shit job and a shit flat and why would he want that in his life bringing him down?
He has his problems. He has had two very traumatic events happen recently. I thought I had been a good support to him and we were seemingly getting on very well. I confessed immediately and told him that I had done a terrible thing and read his notebook and had seen what he wrote. He was very apologetic and said that he ‘wasn’t well’ mentally and had flipped last week and written it in a rant as a way of getting his 'anger' off his chest after I raised something that I didn’t feel very happy about (but thought that we had cleared up at the time). He said he did fancy me and that I had been amazing and had done nothing but help lift him up. He wants us to wipe the slate clean.
For info, we have only been together for 6 months and are mid-forties.
I need to run a mile don’t I?