I’ve screwed up and need advice please

[Renton212]

Gay relationship. I’m 44 and he’s 28
Three weeks ago I lost my job and the stress went into overload. We’ve been dating since January.

He was supportive on text but the past two weeks he said he was so stressed and had so much on himself and just stopped coming round for two weeks.

The first time he said he was too hungover and would come over in the week but then he was doing his friends hair (hairdresser( that evening and would be over on the Saturday. On Saturday he had work stuff on and might come over after: then he said he was going to see his friend that evening and might come over Sunday.

On that Saturday after being alone for three days after my final day at work I got drunk and blocked him. He was apologetic the next day and said let’s meet for coffee

Then he was too busy on the next two days and suggested we meet Sunday. Then on Saturday just before we were due to meet after I apologise for blocking him he said it wasn’t all about me and he would never block anyone and didn’t want to see me again. On text he’s super supportive but I just feel I should have come first ? I know I shouldn’t have blocked him but I just thought he’s out with his friend and I’m sat here alone feeling crap. But I still miss him. Before all the job crap happened we were great - any thoughts ?

You need to speak to him. Be honest and ask him those scary questions like ‘what do you want’ and ‘do you want to continue our relationship’.

Playing games like blocking him (presumedly as a childish way to MAKE him realise he’s selfish) only leads to shitty relationships.

I’d just leave him to it for now and if he comes back, try to keep things bright and breezy. It sounds like it got a bit too much for him.

You both sound as childish as each other

OP,
Sorry you're so stressed about the job loss.

It does come across as he can't be bothered to see you, and is "making excuses"

Maybe time to move on, only you can make that choice.

12 weeks, that’s how long you’ve been in a relationship —dating—. Have a grown up conversation about expectations and see if they match. If he makes promises that he doesn’t stick to, walk. I get that you feel vulnerable about your employment status but this guy obviously doesn’t want to support you in ways that you currently need and throwing blocking on social media PA hissy fits, doesn’t help your cause (however justified you think it was).

Dating is that period of time to see if you are compatible and passing the honeymooners stage is the time when you’re most likely to find that out.

At present your bf isn’t prioritising time with you and you have every right to find out why but that doesn’t mean he will tell you. You have to decide, if being fobbed off is the price your willing to pay to stay in the relationship.