He doesn't know if he loves me..

[bossmumma]

I split with my ex just over a month ago, but since have felt like I’ve made a mistake. We have barely spoke over text, and briefly when he drops dd off.

We spoke a bit tonight and I asked if he loved me, he said he didn’t know? I said you don’t know if you love me or not, and he said yes. We were together for 4 years and only split a month ago. I can’t tell if he really doesn’t or if he doesn’t want to say how he feels, he’s not someone that ever pours their heart out.

I don’t want to pester him about being together but also don’t want to waste time wandering if he wants to try again!

I just think how can you suddenly unlove someone, was that his way of gently saying he doesn’t love me and doesn’t want to be together?

It could be he was uncertain where you were going with this question and didn't want to say to wrong thing?
Best just to ask him outright if he wants to try again op.
Good luck

He may just be putting a guard up. You hurt him with the split and maybe try asking him if he would like a coffee just the two of you or if he would want to start dating? Thing is the relationship you've ended has to be gone. You weren't happy in that relationship. But there's no harm in starting fresh with the same person

He should figure out if he "loves you" or is "in love with you" there is a difference. If he isn't in love with you then you need to ask if he thinks that can be worked on and if not then you both need to move on. If he wants to work on it when start from the beginning again, date nights, days out, long talks etc etc. Try and remember the reasons you both fell in love. Hope it works out for you x

I'd go cold on him. The relationship has ended and he doesn't know if he loves you. If he did love you, he'd know. Don't ask him to get back together. Don't instigate meetings. He's not your friend any more, I'm afraid. He's broken up with you and the only thing you can do is put a brave face on it and not let him know what you feel about him. I'm sorry, it's really horrible.

If you're not together and he says he doesn't know... you deserve better. And you'll get it.

Doesn't matter whether he says he does or doesn't love you (one would suspect not).

If you instigated the split and then had doubts as to whether you did the right thing, then I think asking him how he feels is a bit unfair. I think you should sit down together, try to work out what went wrong and if it's fixable.

If he loved you he would know.

If he loved you then he'd want to be back with you

That’s exactly what I think if he did, he would know and tell me. I’m not going to try and say how I feel anymore and move on. Thank you.

I just think how can you suddenly unlove someone I can, if I've split up with someone I just totally shut down emotionally. Think it stems from abuse but I can just totally turn it off!
He probably either doesn't love you any more or didn't want to be humiliated for saying he does!