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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Partner Messing me around

38 replies

Mikey12 · 09/04/2018 16:26

About 8 months ago whilst having sex my partner stopped me from performing oral sex with her. I found this a bit odd but she had on a few previous occasions said it doesn't do a lot for her (although it didn't appear that way at the time), and that she much prefers me using other methods (which we do and enjoy). I told her I enjoyed oral and would like to continue however she has stopped me from performing oral on her.
A couple of months later she was getting undressed and showed me that she had spots around her groin are under her pubic area and these appeared to be wart like. I was naturally a bit concerned firstly because I thought she may have a STI and secondly because of health reasons. I started to become suspicious that she may have cheated on me, because she didn't want me to perform oral and now this I faction.
So she said she has no idea what they are and how she got them. I haven't had sex with anyone else since being with her. We continued to have unprotected sex. I got myself tested straight away and after a few weeks was given the all clear - no I infections. However my partner hadn't got herself tested and refused to go to a sexual health clinic as she said they were dirty places and she was due a smear test.
I looked into the situation and also spoke to my sexual health clinic and doctor who stated a smear test would not indicate what the warts were. When I told my partner she got very defensive and asked if I was causing her of cheating. I said no but said I couldn't understand why she doesn't get herself tested.
She then broke her ankle whilst on a cross country race and later told me that her local nurse wouldn't do the smear test, because she didn't want to risk my partner hurting her ankle (I spoke to my doctor about theis and she said it was nonsense) After a number of months my partner finally got her smear test and came home but said nothing until questioned. She stated that she was all clear and when I asked her about the spots she said 'oh nothing to worry about nurse said probably moluscums that my partner's 5yr old daughter had got'.
The spots look like warts, are still there after 5 months but are clearing up. Having researched they could possibly be hpv but can I ask what people think about this? This doesn't necessarily mean that my partner has cheated from what I understand as the incubation period can be year's for infections to then show warts, but I find my partners behaviour a bit suspicious/evasive. After 7 months she still refuses oral sex from me and has a couple of warts down there. I feel if I confront her again she will lose it with me but I don't want to catch anything and I feel she might be keeping something from me. Any thoughts or suggestions about this I would be very grateful.

OP posts:
NotTheFordType · 11/04/2018 15:47

So firstly, yes she had a smear test and it was sent off. She went to get the results

LOL. You don't "go and get your results" from a smear test. You get them in a letter. (Similar with STI screens - depending on the clinic it's either "no news is good news or you get the all clear by text, or if they find a positive they phone you.)

Mikey12 · 11/04/2018 15:47

I have read on medical advice sites that Moluscums around the groin are normally through sexual contact. Her 5yr old daughter had moluscums on her legs so she may have caught them but unlikely as they apparently only show around the groin from intimate / sexual skin on skin contact. If my interpretation is incorrect then fair enough.

OP posts:
NotTheFordType · 11/04/2018 15:48

I'm sorry but your reason 3 isn't just "all things adding up" - you found spunk in her knickers! Did you ask her about it?

Pinkvoid · 11/04/2018 15:51

Unless you sent it off for DNA analysis you can’t know it was spunk Confused. Discharge and spunk look pretty similar... Discharge is more likely to show up in underwear tbf due to it being a lot more viscous.

Mikey12 · 11/04/2018 15:55

They could also be moluscums, but around the groin area usually means they have been contracted by sexual skin on skin contact (from what I've read on medical sites). I am all clear from my tests however.?

OP posts:
Mikey12 · 11/04/2018 21:25

Yes asked her but she just responded "don't question me.."

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 11/04/2018 21:33

Christ, this thread...

NotTheFordType · 11/04/2018 21:50

Wait. You said to her "is this spunk in your knickers" and she said "don't question me"??

NotTheFordType · 11/04/2018 21:52

Ooh AF.

OP are you looking for cuck here?

Queenofthedrivensnow · 11/04/2018 22:21

But he was in an elite unit....

AnyFucker · 11/04/2018 22:51

Pardon, NTFT ?

AnyFucker · 11/04/2018 22:52

Cuck ? Cuckolding ?

Blimey.

NotTheFordType · 12/04/2018 00:14

Yeah that's the way I was going, the wilful disbelief and requirement to "rub my face in it"

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