heartbroken confused angry

[Rr89]

So on Thursday night I revived a message on Facebook from a random profile saying she had been talking to my partner on a nude dating site and her daughter recognised him and that I was his partner and she thought I should know. There were screen shots of pictures and messages.
Obviously a huge argument ensued as there was no denying that he had sent these messages trying to arrange a meet and exchange pictures.
I then discovered that the person who had messaged him and then sent them to me what his ex partner. She had created 3 fake profiles on numerous sites as well as kik accounts and sought him out to do this. My partner and I have been together 2 years and have a 7 month old son. He has a 3 year old with her who I love and treat as my own.
I’m so hurt that my partner would do this as I’ve been suffering from really bad anxiety and depression for the past 2 months but I’m also baffled as to why she would go to all this trouble to spilt us up
I have always been respectful towards her and never got involved in any disputes the two of them had. I’m so confused and torn as I love him and I thought we were happy, he has obviously assured me it was a mistake and it will never happen again but then I’m struggling to trust him or believe him .
I’m so torn :(

Why are you angry with his ex!? I would be thanking her. It's your partner that was on these sites. She obviously spotted him (probably under her own account) then made a fake one to show you proof. Would you rather she never told you?

That’s not a mistake. A mistake is mixing up the McDonalds order for the family. This was a deliberate act and he is just sorry he was caught.

To my mind, it doesn't matter how you know, you know. He did it. With someone he thought was a stranger and it bit him on the arse.

She couldn't have sought him out if he wasn't there looking in the first place.

Sorry OP. Place the blame where it's due. 100% she's a shitty Hyman being but she isn't your issue. He is.

She will know exactly what he's like, having had the same done to her most probably, and for whatever reason chose to show you, too. This may be because she is concerned for any woman who ends up with him, or it may be because she thinks he doesn't deserve good things because he's a shit. There's a possibility that she wants him back, but that seems unlikely!

The end result is the same. You know he's scum, so it's up to you now as to what you do with the info she's provided.

I think whatever her motives she's done you a huge favour, even though it might not feel like it right now.

She did you a huge favour and I’m guessing she was also on the receiving end of his shitty cheating when they were together and decided to show you his true colours. She’s not to blame. She’s a free agent and can do what she likes. Does it actually matter who it is? How do you know it’s only her he’s messaged? His online and seeking. She’s the only one who sent you copies because she knows you. He could have been sexting 50 other women who all in good faith think he’s single! She’s done you a massive favour and you should thank her and bin him. Get some backbone and make this man accountable for his actions. If you don’t get rid now, he will do it again and next time you might not be so lucky to find out

It wasn't a mistake.

He has a three year old with her, but he's been with you two years. And you have a baby.

He really moves quick, huh?

This is not a man who loves or respects you. Maybe he's still in love with his ex. Maybe he's just a prick. Either way, do you really love him? Or the person you thought he was? Because I'll bet when you were thinking of your ideal partner, it wasn't someone who sent and received nudes and tried to arrange casual sex with strangers...

Definitely take any feelings you have towards his ex out of the equation.

All feelings need to be directed towards your partner, as he is the one you thought you were in a loving relationship with. He has exhibited some really, really poor and disrespectful behaviour. You need to think hard if this is a deal-breaker and how you go forwards from here.

How do you mistakenly take pictures of yourself naked?

How do you mistakenly create an account on a pick up website?

How do you mistakenly upload those pictures you took by mistake to that website?

How do you mistakely contact other people on that website?

The only mistake he made was being caught out by his ex. She clearly knows what he is like a lot better than you and has done you a massive favour.

If this was any other woman he would be meeting up with them and you would be none the wiser.

You deserve better. I can't see what there is to be torn about.