4 months after baby should we split

[Tbain0411]

Hi everyone, Im new here and just wanted some advice and words of wisdom from all the mums who may have been through this.
I have been with my partner for 2 years and we have a 4 month old baby, i also have a 6 year old from previous relationship.
i have always been pretty secure and comfortable in my own skin but recently i have turned into a neurotic paranoid jealous woman.
I have just found out that my man has been keeping a few secrets from me and his behaviour is really affecting me.
We split a few times through my pregnancy and twice since i had baby, not for very long i think a fortnight has been the longest split. There are no major problems its just at times he acts like an immature child and i dont have time anymore for his antics which ends up in arguements then i ask him to leave because i just need the space from him, he has never actually left me of his own accord its always been me who tells him to go.
But i have now found out that he has been on dating sites twice when we were apart, i have seen these profiles and he hasnt actually done anything he just made the profiles while drunk and had a wee look, when we split he also goes out gets drunk and smokes weed, he also went to a party full of young girls and took cocaine i am now wondering if he can be trusted. He has terrible wandering eyes and looks at every nice looking woman that passes even when im with him, i have also found about 200 images of naked women on his phone these are all internet images of famous people or models they are not private photos from normal people but its eating me up inside.
Im probably feeling insecure after having a baby and a little hormonal but i just dont know anymore if i can trust him now. He hasnt actually done anything physical with anyone else as far as i know and i have spoke to him and told him i dont like what hes doing and he understands but he doesnt actually stop and im now worried that if he goes out everytime we argue and gets out his face on drink and drugs is he really going to say no if someone does come on to him because it seems as if he has no control or willpower when we are apart
I am actually thinking about ending our relationship because i know i couldnt handle it if he cheated and i would rather finish it now and save myself the heartache.

He sounds about 18. How old are you both?

i have spoke to him and told him i dont like what hes doing and he understands but he doesnt actually stop

I think you'd be better of without.

I would ask him to leave and focus on your DC. Sorry

We are both 45 so not spring chickens and usually he is a great dad and hard working man but then he sometimes does things that make him look like a child hence the arguements

Oh wow. It sounds like you need to separate properly. All this splitting up and getting back together osn’t Good for anyone. And his behaviour? Drugs? Photos of naked women?

Nope.

Some people put up with some shit.

Get rid ffs!!

Yuk.. sorry but he sounds vile and his only excuse would have been being a hormonal teenager. 45?? Really? The pics on the phone would be a deal breaker for me alone. I can't stand that- to me it's a way of cheating.
You have to think if he has any redeeming qualities, as at his age he will not change. I know if that was me I'd be gone like a shot.
Good luck with your baby. You deserve better 💐

Thanks for your advice and i kinda knew this anyway its just so hard because i do still love him and i really wanted a happy little family instead of being a single parent also my 6 year olds dad passed away in september and he gets really upset every time my partner leaves. I really dont want to contribute to his sleepless nights and tears but i dont know if i can take anymore information that may come out

You need to make a decision. How long were you together before you got together? Has he really turned into an immature dick since your pregnancy or did you turn a blind eye to it before? Given the recent death of your son's father the on offness of your relationship is incredibly damagingly damaging. Go to couples counselling or permanently end it but this back and forth is very damaging.