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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationship I'm trapped

7 replies

ItMadeMyEyesWater · 08/04/2018 19:04

I had a nervous breakdown a few years ago, and have never fully recovered. I have agoraphobia and really bad social phobia. My marriage is over, due to my problems. We weren't the sort of couple who were out every night, although we did occasionally meet up with friends. We didn't have a holiday every year. My husband is the sort of person, if you can't see it, it doesn't exist, which is how he treats my mental illness. We had a row the other day because I asked him to clean up the puppy poo, which the puppy had done after my husband fell asleep downstairs, which I have asked him not to do specifically for this reason. He shouted at me, that I was an idle fat bastard, and what a mess I am. I really can't stop thinking about his remarks. I am certainly not idle but I have put some weight on due to the medication I take, and not being as active as I use to be, although I do spend ten to fifteen minutes a day on my exercise bike. Since he said this, it's on my mind all the time, I can't read or watch the television because it is on my mind 24/7. I am trapped with a verbally abusive husband, and can't do a thing about it.

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 08/04/2018 19:25

You're not trapped if you can call a solicitor
Do you have any friends or family to talk to?

Dimael · 08/04/2018 20:05

Have you ever thought that half of your problems might be to do with him. You strong and successful by yourself will be testimony to this. My mental health goes downhill with bad men and I pick up months after the split. Funny that isn’t it!

ItMadeMyEyesWater · 08/04/2018 20:58

I can't cope socially, I cut myself off entirely from all my friends when I had my breakdown. I don't have any family, other than my two boys who are in their thirties, one lives with his girlfriend and the other still lives at home. I don't know what I would have done if I hadn't still got my son living with us, he is so kind and thoughtful, and really makes an awful situation so much better.

OP posts:
NotTheFordType · 08/04/2018 21:09

Is he your son's father?

ItMadeMyEyesWater · 08/04/2018 22:05

Yes, he is.

OP posts:
ItMadeMyEyesWater · 09/04/2018 12:19

It's me again. I just want to talk. I feel really depressed today. Things keep replaying over and over in my mind. I hardly slept last night. I can't stop crying. The atmosphere in the house is dreadful. When I had my breakdown I felt so much better withdrawing inside my house, not having to worry about the social politics of life. When my H is at work I feel so much better, but he only works P/T. He said we can't afford to divorce. You know I have been abused mentally, physically and sexually since the age of four. I don't want any help good or bad, I just want to be invisible.

OP posts:
fantasmasgoria1 · 09/04/2018 12:26

I am so sorry you are going through this. I have serious mental health issues and I totally understand how you feel. I went through two abusive marriages the first was horrific. When I split with my second husband it was much better for me. I left with only my clothes , personal belongings etc and left him with everything I had worked hard to buy. I just wanted out and I now am in an amazing relationship.is there nowhere you can go or anyone at all you can stay with even for a short while?

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