Buying New home v’s Buying family home following divorce

[Flamingoesandpeaches]

Firstly, I’d like to thank everyone here for their posts on any thread in regards to affairs and divorce in the past two years. Yes you’ve guessed it, it happened to me.
In short, was with him 23 yrs, married 14.5yrs, 2 children....then he had affair and left me (then came back, left again, came back, left again ....you get the idea) anyway have now been single for 19months and divorced 8 months.

My question is this: we never owned the house I am currently living in so I’m still renting, but need to buy.
I am happy here, love the house and have moved on. I will have the option to buy this house in the next few months if I wish .....I just don’t know what to do .
Stay in this house which does have memories of him being here with us, or buy a new house and start from scratch?????

Totally confused and no idea what to do! HELP!
Any advice, previous experiences anyone could share would be gratefully received.
Thanks

I kept my house on after the divorce and over time redecorated, added features to the garden and had a new kitchen and now I can't ever really remember it being anything but my home. The changes I made were just natural home improvements rather than an attempt to remove memories of my ex but him ever living there soon became a distant memory. It helped that I loved my home, its location and I was also fiercely proud of myself for being able to keep my home as it was a financial strain to start with. Now 10 years on I have a lovely house with a decent chunk of equity in it and my ex has just got his foot back on the property ladder in a starter home with a mortgage bigger than mine and very little equity.
If you're happy and have moved on is that likely to change by staying in the home you're in? Especially if you like your home.

I agree, if you love the house then redecorating etc will make it feel more “yours”. I didn’t have much money but even putting up new pictures and things helped.

If you love the house and are happy I would buy when the opportunity arose.
Like Artful I managed to get a mortgage on my own to stay in the family home with dc as I love the location etc and am currently in the process of redecorating to make it exactly how I want. It is very liberating!
Write a list of things you fancy changing/ decorating as it is a lot less stress, hassle and expense of moving house again. Good luck

You can move house, but that won't erase the memories. It may trigger less memories, but they will still be in your head.

I was lucky enough to be able to buy my XH out of the family home. It made financial sense and gave the kids some stability. I actively redecorated and XH, who is a frequent visitor, comments (not in a nasty way) that it doesn't feel like his house any more (good).
Unless there are very bad memories associated with it I'd say buy it if it suits you and your family.

Thank you for your replies.
I have redecorated every room in the house but if I’m honest with myself I don’t think it’s made that much of a difference.
More I think of it more I’m thinking just move out and start over just the three of us.

Maybe...!

It broke my heart that I couldn't stay in our former matrimonial home. I rented for 4 years whilst the divorce and house sale went through and have now bought my own place (with mortgage).

I love that he's never stepped foot inside the place and that I only have a few items in my home that were bought when we were together. I'm now so glad it went like this for me and I'm fiercely proud that I've made a new home away from all the memories, it's made moving on much easier.

I thought I would be relieved when I bought a new place but in reality I miss our old home. Also moving is so disruptive I would avoid it if I could even though the children settled fine and seemed to take it in their stride.

In your case I would buy the place you’re in. If you’re not sure why don’t you have a look around at what you can afford and where.