Please give me your perspective I feel I have lost faith in mine.
My parents set up a trust before my sister and I married into which was paid the proceeds of sale of my fathers business and money saved by my aun who never spent a penny on herself but had no children. My family are comfortable but not rich. When my husband and I bought our first house this trust put down the deposit which was 50 percent and my husband and I both make equal mortgage payments for the remainder. When we first got our mortgage after being married a year, he added on £20 k to pay off debts he had accrued. When I met him he told me he supported his family who lost their savings through no fault of their own in another country and I was naive and thought this was a short term thing- I had no children and was in love and I admired him for the values it showed he had. This debt he has was partly due to thissupport of them. I am a SAHM and cannot go back to work st the moment because my 3 year old has ASD ans I have a young baby. My husband works hard as a medical professional. He is entitled to support his family and he had been doing this for the last 6 years and it is a long term thing. This is up to him. However, there are always larhe “ one off” payments which need to be made to them for things which are no fault of their own. I gave my husband £ 10,000 to help with things they needed and he was only grateful for a short while and then said some nasty things about my trying to “ buy off his depression” which made me really angry because this money was savings from my aunt who has always gone without. I made this payment and also £10 k to pay off credit card sect of my husband which apparently was partly my fault because he spends £500 a month commuting so I can live where I do ( this was not my decision alone though!). Anyway I gave this money because i wanted h to be free of worry and to have a clean slate. He has never been appreciative of this though and never lets me feel included I. His supper of his family. I am not allowed to question it or ask questions because I have a trust. I do not understand this logic. He talks about my trust as if it is a bad thing when we would have had no deposit for a house otherwise. It makes me very angry because my parents are giving me money to par for a nanny to help me as my son’s behaviour is so difficult for me to manage whilst caring for my baby but this means they have nothing left for holidays etc. This Babb is help my husband demanded repeatedly I get because my “ need help”. He did not plan how this would be paid for. Anyway our mortgage is up on the summer and I am overwhelmed with the children and he upon returning from his family overseas asked if I was happy to leave it to him to deal with. I said I was. Had I not asked heveould not have mentioned that he had again added £20k to pay off debts from his trip when very sadly a parent died and he had to pay for lawyers fees for wills etc etc. I know he had no choice to do this but what angers me is that he was being underhand, that he tells me it’s hidden In the mortgage and I dont understand, he’s nasty about my trust and doesn’t see that it benefits him and my children too. I’d he wasn’t regularly verbally abusive “ go fuck yourself” “ stupid cunt” and made me feel part of his support for his family I would not mind so much but he is often nasty to me, shuts me out of his support of them and £20 k could certainly have paid for this nanny he incessantly demanded I needed. How would you feel?