I dont think i like the person my DF is

[stripesandspots10]

I love him as he is my DF, but i dont think i like him as a person and alot of his opinions. I feel horrible saying that but i think thats how i feel.

Currently having counselling for my upbringing so theres a long background. Nothing too traumatic but it has affected how i have relationships with guys/friends etc.

Today i think i realised what an arse he can be! We were travelling to watch my sister do something for charity and we were discussing an ex of mine. DF and family really liked this ex and tbh he weren't that bad compared to some of mine. I just said a few bad things about my ex and clearing my DF didn't like this and started laying into me a bit. I became annoyed and didn't carry on talking. Think my DM sensed i was annoyed.

On the way home, the car was boiling and i asked for them to turn the fan up so DS didnt get hotter. He was sweating and had red cheeks. He didnt get what i meant and told me to stop being so anal. It seems like when i go against what he wants he doesnt like it. Its his way or he will bully you into his way.

I feel he is completely different with my DS to how he was with me and my Dsis. Like he always wanted a son. He is a "guys, guy". Goes out drinking alot still, my DM has been a SAHM since she had me and Dsis. Think he thinks thats how women should be.

Sorry i could go on. No point to this post just wanted a bit of a rant really. And today i just realised i don't really like him as a person.

I don't like or love my father. He treated me very badly as a child, which has had a huge detrimental affect on how I cope with life, but the last straw was how he behaved when I was in then came out of hospital after a long, serious and major operation which took almost a year to recover from.

I can hardly bear to be in the same room as him now as any scales that were left have well and truly fallen from my eyes and I can see clearly what a selfish and self-absorbed arseholic wanker he really is. I think he's a narcissist to be honest. He loves to think he has power and control over other people, the only person who matters in his world is him, and other people are there to do as he wants.

So - you're not the only one! :) I'm very low contact now. He's very elderly, and I'll be happy when he's no longer around.

Hi seven glad im not the only one who feels like this.

Its always awkward when its just us two in the room. Maybe he senses i don't like him much. Saying that he pays no interest in what i have to say anyway.
I used to think my DF weren't as bad as my DM but actually he is probably equal or even worse than my DM but just more subtle.