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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is it me?

3 replies

Itmustbe · 07/04/2018 15:21

I just need an objective view of where I m at.
I have two dc with partner I ve been with for 14 years.
Ds wasnt planned (now 4) and things went downhill from then. I spent my pregnancy sleeping in the spare room and skimmed over the issues when ds was born
Over the last two years he has been increasingly mean towards me - verbally really abrupt and speaks to me like shit. He only shows affection when hes drunk other than that its just like we re distant friends.
He wont talk about 'us' so I text him a few months ago telling him I love him etc and want to get back to us. He replied saying he didnt hate me but that was it.

So I moved into spare room and acknowledged it was over - again via text.

He is really good with dc but the constant put downs and general lack of giving a shit about me is really tough to live with. I cant drive or lift at the moment as I ve habing treatment on slipped disc and his reply to asking if he could drive me to the shop for food was - have i broken my legs too..

Oldest ds has SATS in may so I ve told ex after then thats it and am already looking for housing etc.

I guess things have been bad for years and its now normal but its not normal is it? No family to turn to and friends are mutual friends - no one knows as hes fine infront of others and trying to keep all ok for ds doing exams.

OP posts:
Itmustbe · 07/04/2018 15:23

So my question was - is it me.
. Am I expecting too much after so many years together?

OP posts:
LemonSqueezy0 · 07/04/2018 15:56

Doesn't matter if its you, or him. It's over and you both seem to agree on that. Save as much as you can, plan for the future and be ready to leave after the sats exams. There's so much more to life so look at the bigger picture.

Itmustbe · 07/04/2018 16:00

Thats just it, according to him it is my fault. Always is. Definitely agreed - through not stating otherwe but I guess I havent accepted it or got over it so its hard

OP posts:
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