H holding the purse strings

[Peachsnowpop]

So, H is getting arsey about me maybe buying some curtains (not a necessary purchase but I'm fed up with the dreary ones we have). I've only measured up for them not even shown him the price. He piped up with me wasting our money and then said he's going out as he can't stand it. Wtf have I done wrong?! This is the only house related purchase I've made (or will make) this year. He lost £100 gambling the other day, I mentioned this to him and he said I'm now going to make the loss even worse by buying the curtains !!!

Oh and just to add for context he wants to buy a custom made stand alone out house type thing for his gym room - for which he's prepared to budget about £20k - when our extension is finished.

Bloody hell I could have written that, sounds like we're in the same boat op. No advice to give I'm afraid other than men are shits and get the gin x

Totally agree #blondebuddha.

He's away next month and hes gonna come home to find the new curtains hanging nicely in the lounge.

Buy them anyway.

I think you should buy the curtains precisely BECAUSE he lost £100 gambling - intensify his pain rather than hold back because he gambled and lost. At least you'll have something to show for the money you spend on them! And what a pathetic reason he used why you shouldn't buy them - it equates to "I'm loser dickhead and you'll suffer the consequences too." What a screwed-up non-reasoned view he has of things. You have my commiserations. Spend away and feel an inner glow when you look at your lovely curtains 😊

Meant to ask... What does he think money lost on gambling is? He's a hypocritical tool if he can't see that's he's the one who's the wastrel.

Get cushions too. Really expensive ones.

And a pouffe.

And I'd buy him a camp bed and port-a-potty for his gym room.

Is he normally an arse about money?

Is there any chance he's lost considerably more than £100 which means he's freaking out over any money matters?

Usually when I see these threads I think the person who reacted is having money troubles and I'm usually right. Do you have a joint account, is your money transparent?

You say he lost 100, are you sure it was only that?

What kind of gambling was it?

Personally I’d match the £100 and any other the of his future spends and squirrel it away rather than wasting it on curtains. How can you bear to live like that?

Is there any chance his gambling has you u debt you don’t know sbout?

Fuck that. What are his good sides? Do they outweigh the twat element?

Relationship dynamics require the input of more than one person. Why does he hold the purse strings? Rant away but if you want a chance of this situation changing, you’re going to have to do more than buy curtains.