I know I need to readjust my priorities after discovering our whole life was a lie.

[Newerversion]

So, to cut a long story short, a while ago I discovered my h had hideous secret life that he was running alongside our family life. It destroyed everything I thought I knew, it led to me questioning my self worth, feeling pointless and ultimately after me getting to a point where I was barely functioning, the GP has put me on anti depressants which I guess must be having some effect as I am making plans and want to sort my life out. I feel so selfish for saying it, but I feel like I need to prioritise myself a bit. Obviously the children will always be high on my list of priorities, but for so long the list had them and h at the top of it, followed by work, house etc and I am not sure I was on it at all.

I was hoping someone who has experienced similar might have some advice on how to successfully reboot my life without it being detrimental to the dcs.
I really do not care how detrimental it might be for h, he is no longer any kind of priority for me. (that probably sounds so nasty but he has done some detestable things and is not who I thought he was at all)

Without having more details, it sounds totally reasonable to prioritise your own health and wellbeing so that you can care for your DC. Are you staying with your DH or splitting up?

At the moment he is still here, more because of finances and organisation than anything else. I don't intend for that to go on much longer though. I guess my reprioritising and getting him gone go hand in hand really.

Without much context it's difficult to say but it does seem that getting rid of your H would be the biggest step forward in prioritising your well-being.

It's very hard to advise as your post is so vague. Why do you think you led a life of lies? Even if you are divorced or headed that way, you had good times, you had children, you had.holidays. Life is made.up of those good times. Even if some people are not meant to be together forever.

Prioritize yourself . Your well being. Your mental state. The DC will always be a priority. The sooner you start focusing on getting yourself better and back to who you are, the sooner you can move on with your life.