I am not dealing well with life at all.
I started seeing a man going through a divorce (about 6 months into it) and we have been together for 6 months. I knew him before all this, from a distance, as he worked in a different department to me. He was always very nice and chatty.
When we started seeing each other I was looking for a new job and he coincidentally moved to our team. It was really claustrophobic and I was glad I had found a new job for this reason too. We work in a competitive professional industry and egos are rife!
Since we have been together he has treated me terribly...at least I think he has. He has shouted at me for borrowing his iphone charger and separating the lead from the plug. That evening ended in him telling me to fuck off and as I was apologising and saying i didnt want to go to bed on an argument, he gave me silent treatment interspersed with telling me to fuck off and that he needed to sleep. Another time we pulled up to work and I was reading an email. He screeched into the car park, got out and threw the keys at me and told me if I was going to ignore him and be disrespectful then he would leave me to lock the car up. He gets angry if i message my mum or friends too much in the car as he says it is disrespectful. Recently he sat in a bar with me with a face like thunder and when i asked what was wrong he said the mask is slipping and i would see he was an awful person soon. Other times he will have loads of confidence and arrogance and actually tell me he is good looking and hes always had good looking women. On those days he tends to question why i dont go for spray tans or have proper waxes all the time (as oppsoed to holidays etc). He got massively drunk the day before my gran's funeral and told me to fuck off and locked me out of the house... i had spent the 3 hours prior to that meeting his friends and sorting his house out with washing and hoovering etc. I never had an apology for any of these outburts and the next day he gets up and acts like everything is normal.
It all blew up the other night when he got angry because I said i might work from home the following day and could i borrow the car to drive to my place (fifteen mins away). I was told i was selfish and disrespectful. I then called my mum in tears and told her everything...i hadnt said anyhting to anyone at this point. He overheard (i wasnt even trying to be secretive) and understandably went crazy.
Fast forward two days later and he tells me he is sorry and thta he just cant do a full on relationship despite trying and that it hasnt been fair on me and he knows he has treated me badly. this is the first time i had an apology for anything. we then decide to cool things and see each other without staying at each other;s houses everyday. he has barely spoken to me since, in fact i doubt he would have at all if i hadnt messaged.
i have to see him everyday at work until my notice expires in 9 weeks. i want it to be ok until then. how can i deal with this horrible feeling of anger and upset and feeling like i am being totally used, whilst maintaining something between us until i leave work? if i didnt work with him i wouldnt speak to him again but i really struggle to cope with seeing him and just want it to be ok until i dont need to see him anymore. i am really struggling here.