I can't stop thinking about him

[EverythingsDozy]

So I met this guy through OLD. We had a few months of texting every day, talking on the phone, and a good few dates. He told me he wasn't sure he was ready to commit, or whether me and him would go anywhere. A few weeks later, he then told me that I was becoming very important to him and he was thinking about me a lot (and the feeling was very mutual). He led me to believe that things were going somewhere and it felt amazing. I have never felt this way about anyone, not even my exH (father to my two DC).
A few weeks after that, after a fairly bad illness (his) where we didn't see each other (but still text every day), he told me he didn't feel strongly enough to continue dating. It devastated me. I can't stop thinking about him. It wasn't a long term thing but he was just amazing. I don't believe in love at first sight or soulmates but things just felt so right with him. I could really picture a future with this guy.
I have tried my hardest to move past it. I'm back on OLD and have been on a few dates, but none of these men compare and when I am with them, he's all I can think about. I don't know what to do. I want to text him and tell him how much I miss him. I want so much for him to message me and tell me he made a mistake.
There is no one I can talk to in RL because no one knows how I felt about him. I don't want him to be "the one that got away".

Very true about sweetshop mentality. & all too often, women putting all their eggs in one basket quickly, dating just the 1 guy to see where it goes. Meanwhile most men are multi-dating.

Same has happened to me OP with online dating. I was swept away and never felt so amazing in my life. I felt I knew the first time I met him he was the one. He convinced me he felt the same. I was then dumped by text. Devastated

Hi there. It sounds to me like you are too good for him. It also sounds like you are giving yourself a hard time about it when you really shouldn't. If you love more than others you should be proud of yourself. Keep looking though, there is someone out there for you. Take care.

Thanks for this thread, I’m in same place. The responses have been helpful.

He's back on OLD. I've just seen him on a site and my friend has seen him on a different site.
So, it was me. It wasn't what was going on in his life right now. It was me. I wasn't enough for him.

Of course that doesn't mean it was you. It says more about him than you. Sometimes people look for impossible perfection and wind up alone for a long time. He's probably going to mess about the next woman he meets, then the next, then the next. It says nothing about you.
But you're doing yourself no favours checking on him and thinking about him constantly. Just let him go.

What do you mean "wasn't enough for him"? That's a terrible way to think about yourself. Even if this guy was actually basically a good guy, confused about his feelings, it isn't that you aren't good enough just that you each aren't what the other wants and needs. Please don't measure yourself on a scale of good enough, that's soul destroying and so false.

Men like this are often the little boy crying for the moon. Don’t keep saying it was me, nobody will ever be enough for him, there will always be better out there for him.

Feck him, don’t let 1 bad experience define you.

Following as I'm in a similar situation. Great responses on here though. It means it wasn't meant to be. And if he couldn't be open with you then there's communication issues right there already. Him...not you xx

He looked at my friends profile even though he has seen a picture of her and knows that she is my friend.
I feel so low right now.

Please block him for your own peace of mind. Looking at his profile on the dating site or whatsapp, facebook or whatever will drive you crazy.
I can guarantee you that he's nowhere near as good as what you have built him up to be in your head.

Fuck him!
Seriously.
He is an inadequate man and you are letting him get you down.
Don't give him that power.
He doesn't deserve it!
You get out there and get on with your life knowing you had a lucky escape!!!

It's like someone has shown you a glimpse of something fabulous and amazing and then it's been taken away and your left wondering what the hell happened. I may be wrong but I don't think it's him you miss just what it could have become. He's shown his true colours though. People say don't get your hopes up a lot but it's easier said than done if you meet someone who you feel so right with. Taking everything at face value you sound like an honest and loving person and he sounds like a lying scumbag. Sorry.

Thank you all. My heart is hurting but this might be what I needed to get over him.

Come on OP..you knew this man for mere months. Hes a player. He spun you an elaborate version of "The Script". What do you even want or need him for?

Block him and move on and be thankful you weren't with him for years before finding out who he really is. If it's possible then build your social life, do stuff you love, and give OLD a miss for a while. To be so invested in a man you met online and have known just a few months yet are finding it hard to let go, suggests OLD is not for you right now. You need a thicker skin or you'll get burned.

You may meet someone in real life, who knows. Even if you get into new activities and make new friends, that's something. Better than moping over a bloke who'd have brought pointless timewasting drama to your life.

my Dp had Alot more than that going on when we first started dating not once was he not able to make time for me and that was long distance as well I would really try and forget him keep busy but I would knock the dating on the head atm it will make you feel worse if your just thinking of him the whole time.