10 months in

[Mellodrama]

Just hoping to get some perspective and insights into how little or far people were / are, at the 10-month, a year stage?

Things with my ex-DH moved very quickly, but I feel like it's very slow with my current DP and it concerns me?

I can't remember. We weren't living together that's for sure. Still 'dating'.

Taking things slow is no bad thing but what feels wrong to you?

I can't remember either. I think we had met each other's families and been on a couple of weekends away, we had clothes and stuff and each others' houses and were known as a couple. Weren't living together though.

However if you are talking about "slow" in the sense of not committing or not talking about the future, that's not a good sign.

With DH at 10 months in we knew we were in love and were thinking seriously about moving in together (renting). We got a place about the 1 year mark. We had some fairly dramatic life events early in the relationship that accelerated things a bit (we found out we could rely on each other faster than we otherwise would).

I was 23 at the time and moving in after 1 year seemed pretty quick back then. I don't know if I would expect things to move faster now I'm older, or not. Maybe I'd be more confident in my judgement, maybe I'd be less willing to give up my independence. Dunno.

DP and I moved in together after 10 months.

I had very recently stopped dating other people. I was still a good 6 months from saying "I love you".

Whereas with my exh we were saying I love you at 3 months in.

It took me over a year to even start to accept that dp and I were a couple! I was very gun-shy and luckily he was patient with me

It takes years to really even get to know someone op. Take it slow, let things unfold. Be watchful of actions and don't rely on words or promises or assumptions - take the time that's needed to really know the other person x