Going on holiday with MIL - seriously?!

[justtheoddquestion]

Hi,

I need to vent and would like your opinion:
My (lovely) husband was pushing earlier in the year for us to go on holiday with his mum (which is hardly appealing). Then his brother (who is single/has no commitments) said he would take her. He's now changed his mind and my husband has mentioned it to me again. We were thinking of going on a babymoon ie a last, romantic holiday, just the two of us before baby comes and now, he's saying 'why don't we invite my mum.' Seriously?! Who wants to go on holiday with their MIL - let alone when they're 6 months pregnant?!
In my defence, I have been on holiday with her before. I think my husband should put me first, especially at the moment, not his mum.
It puts me in such an awkward position and I look like a b!tch if I say 'no'....

I feel your pain I’m in a similar situation although ours is booked.

This is the last time.

I would play up how much the last holiday alone together meant to you, and suggest she comes with you on a trip after the baby is born instead so she can be an extra pair of hands then.

Just don’t. Say no!

Tell him / her that you would love to go to holiday with her when the baby is here. That way she gets plenty of time with baby and you guys get some desperately needed couple time.

Why not suggest that he and his brother take his Mum off together for a short holiday her and her boys? I’m sure she’d enjoy it.

Don't say no. Say something else like, "I'd really like it to be just us this time - our last chance to have lots of sex and lie-ins before the baby comes."

I'd say no. He can go with her himself and I'd sooner stay at home.

Jesus, what is it about boys and their mums? how can he not 'get' that this has zero appeal?!

Thistlebelle's suggestion is brilliant. That way you're not saying never...

SandyY2K - I completely agree! Although butterymuffin & thoughtfox, good idea. Next year would be much better - if we HAVE to...

Sorry, I meant thethoughtfox - obv reading with my eyes closed again.

We did this - I was 32 weeks pg with twins and had 3yo dd. Idea was I could relax while dh and pil took care of everything! That didn't happen and I stayed very quiet all holiday with a fake smile as I was sooo mad with mil I didn't trust my hormonal self to express myself in a way that wouldn't cause a massive fall out.

We've done 2 holidays with them - no idea why we did the second after the first was such a disaster!

Dh and I went away with PIL when I was 14 weeks. It resulted in us walking (very slowly) around the city trying to find somewhere to eat, it mostly took us so long that my nausea was so bad if I managed to eat dinner I would be sick after. Dh has the nerve to have a go at me for being shitty with them once until i told him that if I had to wait that long to eat again I would leave him with his parents and go off and eat by myself. We saw them less after that.

Honestly I wish DH and I had squeezed in more holidays alone before we had our DC. You need to make the most of this time as you'll never get it back again.

I would suggest the two brothers take her somewhere together if he has enough holiday spare to still go on your trip as well.

Definitely line her up for joining you on future holidays where she can help babysit and give you a few meals out together. Holidays will never be the same again!

Suggest he takes just his mother. Then you'll see how much he wants to do it.

He wants his mother to have a holiday. I respect that. I suggest that he and his brother take her somewhere. You have him 52 weeks of the year. If he doesn't think he'd enjoy that, perhaps she has a good friend and they could offer to send both away together, or to a UK Warner-type break.
Some of my best memories of my parents are on trips in their last years.

But then OP wouldn't have a holiday. Just tell him no OP.

I meant that he should take his mum away for a break separate to a holiday with OP. A joint holiday isn't what OP wants.