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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Doubting longterm relationship

3 replies

NiaJW · 05/04/2018 22:43

Ok so my OH and I have been together for 5 years, lived together 3, currently in the process of building our first home together (living back with my parents to save) and we have a puppy.
I'm starting to doubt whether I can continue seeing a future in our relationship, we've already built the foundations of our future but he makes me doubt us so much. I'd really appreciate an outside perspective aside from friends & family about whether I am over-reacting and being a "crank/pyscho".

My OH has led a bit of a wild life and I thought at 32 he might have outgrown it now, but he still acts like a 19 year old. He will stay out drinking (& other things) including week days, even when he has work in the morning and not come home until gone 5am or not at all. Tonight for instance, he left the house at 7am and we've not managed to speak today, I got a text from his friend saying his phone has died they'll be home for 7pm and if I need him to call his friend. I then get a another saying they'll be home for 8.30..... 10pm...... I finally decided to call and found out they're actually in a city about 40 mins away and he sounds trollied. Don't know how they're getting home.
This has happened more than a handful of times, he gets a b*llocking (and will do tonight!!) apologizes and then the same thing will happen a month later..

Am I wrong for doubting him and getting sick of it? He goes out on weekends too, I don't want my future to look like this. Would you guys stand for it with your OH's?

OP posts:
Userwho · 05/04/2018 23:10

Sounds boring and lonely, I couldn't be bothered with it. When you say building your first home...are you putting your money into this?

Hausfullofgrls · 05/04/2018 23:43

Sounds like he needs to grow up. Have you had any serious discussions about how his behavior makes you feel?

Dimael · 06/04/2018 00:11

I would be frustrated too. My ex boyfriend was always with his friends and I would be accused of not letting him live his life for asking to talk to him one night in the week. I was always wondering what was happening or waiting for him to get in touch. You need to do something to address this now before you are invested in him for the long run. One thing in his favour is he tries to let you know when he will be home, my ex didn’t.
Tell him you need to talk and tell him what you have told us. If he doesn’t change walk away.

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