Hoping mums might be able to relate and advise. Me and DH are clashing over our granddaughter (GD). We're heavily involved in her care as DD alone and working.
GD clearly favours DH over me and can be rejecting and cruel, which is hurtful at times. I recognise kids playing favourites is common, but it's not easy to handle and I feel unsupported by DH. I've read it's important to make one on one time for GD and "less favoured" adult, but DH won't leave us alone. I'm often left out while they play together for hours. If I do manage to get her attention, read her a book or something, he's liable to butt in. He says if she wants to play he will always play with her, so will drop out of conversation with me if she calls him. If they're playing and I try to participate both of them tend to ignore me.
He doesn't seem interested in anything much anymore except GD. He plans his day around her, rushes everything to get to her, and will only consider doing stuff with me if there's no opportunity to see her. Even when we're not with GD he spends much of his time talking about her or watching videos of her.
I feel as if I no longer exist for him except as a backup/stooge for grandchild care.
It's embarrassing to admit, I honestly don't feel enmity towards GD - I love her so much - but I do feel jilted by DH, neglected and excluded, and resentful that he showers all his love, attention, affection and energy on GD.
When I raise any of this he says I'm pressuring him to abandon GD.
He says I need to grow up and push through the hurt and rejection and just get over myself.
Is he right? Or does he need to make some changes? Or should I just back right off and let DH and GD hang out without me?
Hope it's ok to post here, of course I'm a granny, but I'm a mum too, and this is an issue I know affects mums too.