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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Terrible friendship paranoia

5 replies

LittleMissUnreasonable · 05/04/2018 16:06

I dont know what to do anymore. I just feel so lost and need help. Please be kind.

Lost a parent very close to me in my late teens which has affected me badly. As a result I have a few boundary and co dependency issues. People I live with either at uni or afterwards has always been difficult as I end up being too intense and independent and it can lead then to feeling smothered.
I live with friends now. 1 girl I've known since school I feel co dependency issues toward her. I feel jealous when she talks about her getting engagement and moving in with her parter as I feel like I will loose her and be alone which I'm scared about. That can lead to me making passive aggresive comments which annoy her. I worry she will be bitching about me to others and have been compelled to check her phone. I'm not proud I just need the help and am reaching out here. It's exhausting but I'm worried about being abandoned. I was even irritated today as anotber girl asked her to let our group know when she was back safely from a night out after all being out together and later i saw she was online but hadn't let me know and felt irritated she was probably chatting to her fiancee but hadn't messaged us. I wish I could change and want to not be like this anymore as it's exhausting BlushSad

OP posts:
AlpacaBag · 05/04/2018 16:10

oh bless you. I don't know how to help, but I'm thinking maybe some counselling may help you to deal with your grief of losing a parent and to work through your issues caused by losing them? Someone will come along soon and offer better advice I'm sure, hope you're OK xxx

LittleMissUnreasonable · 06/04/2018 01:24

Thanks x I'm hitting a bit of a crisis point I guess

OP posts:
Cobblersandhogwash · 06/04/2018 03:33

When you lost your parent, did you have help? Or did you struggle through it alone?

What happened to you is a really big deal and will have affected you hugely.

Can I suggest you contact Child Bereavement UK? They are a wonderful support for those, of any age, who have lost loved ones.

Wonderlass · 06/04/2018 03:37

You'll push her away.

I did the same to my ex. I knew what I was doing but couldn't stop myself and I lost her.
Try to get help before it gets to that point. Explain it to her. It might help the situation but of you continue she won't put up with it forever, I know that personally.

Coyoacan · 06/04/2018 05:23

You've taken the first step, recognising that you have a problem and reaching out for help.

There is a branch of AA for people with codependency issues. If there is one near you, that would be free group therapy.

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