Single at 30 should I give up

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Hii honestly feel like I don’t deserve love.

When I was 26 I suffered a nervous breakdown due to anxiety and depression at the onset of s new relationship it cane out of nowhere and for a few months I was essentially mad. It annoyed me as the person st the time I really like I actually felt a connection with and my sickness ruined it..

Since then I’ve met guys had a couple here and there and it’s ended badly one guy messed me about for a year

What I don’t get and sometimes what I feel is that the universe kind makes me feel stupid for thinking I could ever find some one

I have friends who have cheated on their partners and are now getting married or even having kids

Ex’s who treated me awfully and now have found themselves in loving relationships

I just don’t get how the world could be this unfair I chat online have people eventually ignoring me or going on dates where they just end hideously I just came from speed dating and shock horror the guys were awful

I just feel being punished being made to feel like “oh don’t be so stupid you in a relationship ha?”

I feel so hopeless so destined to be alone forever with no kids, I even feel that after being so ill for so long I have lost all my chances

I dunno I feel hopeless more human than ever so against the odds.. I never had a family unit I just feel like it’s impossible

I just don’t know what to do I feel humiliated if anything

You're still very young. There are lots of people in relationships but not everyone is happy. Enjoy your life and keep meeting people and you'll meet the right person for you.

30 is really young. I wouldn’t stress about it, the more pressure you put on each date you have to turn into happily ever after, the less likely it is that it will happen.

There’s nothing humiliating about being single, you really ought to change your mindset about that. Being desperate to not be single puts you in a vulnerable position as you’re more likely to put up with poor/abusive behaviour from partners.

I didn’t meet my H until I was 31 and had plenty of time being single before that. I think the worst thing is to be too focused on meeting someone. It’s better to concentrate on you and enjoying your life. Make plans with friends, pursue hobbies, go travelling or whatever it is that you enjoy doing in life. No harm in a bit of online dating but approach it as a bit of fun where you might get to meet fun/ interesting people, not as a quest to find The One.

I had periods where I felt desperate to find a boyfriend as all my friends were paired off and I don’t know if they could smell my desperation but I never seemed to meet anyone then. When I focussed more on enjoying single life and having fun, I ended up meeting people when I least expected it.

Don’t take it personally - a lot of it is down to luck and who you happen to meet and being single isn’t a negative reflection on you as a person. I know lots of single people in their 30s and 40s who are great!

Didn't meet mine until I was 35. We are about to be married and have dc x

Thirty is young. I didn't meet DH till after. Failed marriage in my 20s.

You need to be ok with being on your own for a while. Enjoy your own company, build up a social life/hobbies and get yourself into a calm place. I was quite happy to stay on my own after my divorce and it taught me a lot about what I would and wouldn't put up with from a partner.

I know it's easier said than done but I think you need to stop looking at your past and analysing your previous relationships, focusing on regret and the perceived unfairness.

I think you always have to look to the future with hope and optimism, and time is on your side because you're still young.

In this day and age 30 is so young !

Most of the mums at the achool gate by me are in their 40s some in their 50s only a couple of 20 somethings.

It is not to late.

Focus on yourself ,your self confidence and good mental health let that be your journey for now.

Those who you say have cheated and are now marrired may or may not be with that person for ever but that is their journey not yours. We are not all running in the same race so there is no need to compare.

No! Absolutely not. I met my DH at 31, he was 34 we are married with a toddler and one on the way now. When I met him it was pretty quick - there’s bags of time for you

I think people might pick up on how you are feeling, and then you might attract the wrong kind of partner, or no one at all.

It's really important that you feel happy in yourself before you embark on a relationship, otherwise you may subconsciously try to find happiness through someone, which may not work.

In my late twenties, I stayed in a relationship because I was scared of being on my own. He was a nice guy, just not for me. In the end, I broke up with him and stayed single for a couple of years, on purpose. I decided I wanted to be 100% happy with myself and my life before I decided to date again. I met my partner when I was 30. We now have a child and live together. I'm 33.

I honestly think that because I wasn't worried and stressing about meeting someone, that made it easier for me to meet someone and cope with rejection.

I also think you should seek counselling, if you haven't already.

It really grinds my gears that 30 is seen as some sort of spinsterhood age if you're not married. 30 is young, loads of 30 somethings haven't settled down.

However if you've got loads of people around you who have settled down it's bound to be disheartening. Also the whole tone of your post is really down, are you still having treatment for your anxiety issues? I would definitely suggest councelling and maybe some sort of self confidence workshop.

Look after yourself, spend time doing things you enjoy and don't put pressure on yourself.

I got married at 31, in hindsight that was a massive mistake, got divorced at 35, I'm 37 now and am now with someone amazing. It happens to everyone at different times.

I had a breakdown when I was 28 thanks to overwork and stress, returning to the workplace (different firm) over a year later.

I met my DP when I was 30 (working at the same place), we're now 9 years down the line with a toddler and a baby due in less than a month.

30 is definitely not old! Don't give up, there are plenty of decent people out there. The tricky bit sometimes is finding them