I’ve been with my DP for four months and am about to end things with him. I’m 99% sure it’s the right thing to do but would appreciate some outsiders’ opinions please.
For context, we are both mid-thirties and he had split up with his ex partner about seven months before we met. They had been together for several years. Fairly early on when we were dating he told me that she had left him for someone else and he had been really hurt but that he was ready to move on. I noticed there were a few occasions when he would mention places he had been with his ex or he would allude to how heartbroken he had been when they split up. It seemed odd but I thought perhaps I was being paranoid.
Fast forward to a few days ago and he mentioned that he was struggling for money at the moment. I asked him why and he said it was because shortly before we met he had had to pay his ex back a large amount of money that he owed her and he’s been left short. Alarm bells were ringing at that point but then he went on a vitriolic rant against her, totally unprompted by me. It was utterly bizarre. In the space of a few minutes he had told me she was a user, a goldigger, that she has a new boyfriend who is wealthy and she is only with him for money, that her family are piss takers. He went on to tell me about how when when they were together they had problems in their sex life, how she had mental health problems, how they were trying for a baby before she left him, how she tried to change him, how he had done so much for her and she threw it in his face. I couldn’t believe how bitter he sounded. He was ranting so much he barely paused for breath. In the space of five minutes he had told me where she lived, what her name is, what her job was - all information I really didn’t need to know. I certainly wouldn’t divulge that sort of information about my ex to him, mainly because it’s in the past and it’s not important.
I pulled him up on it and I said he quite clearly isn’t ready for a relationship yet but he said he didn’t hate her and that he just hated how he had been treated. He said he is definitely ready to move on and that he really likes me but I can’t get past what he said. It’s too much and clearly he’s not over her. My gut instinct is telling me to run as I don’t think this will end well. Since then he’s been overly nice but none of this sits well with me. He was quite full on with me from our first date, showering me with compliments and telling me Im exactly what he’s been looking for but none of it feels genuine, its almost like he’s trying to fill the void left by his ex. I need to end it, don’t i?