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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is he still controlling me?

1 reply

Yorkshiregirl886 · 03/04/2018 21:34

Four years ago I fled an abusive relationship and ended up in a refuge with my children. The abuse was mainly ea but more recently I’ve realised how much I’ve minimised and there was also financial sexual and physical abuse. After 6 months I found somewhere to live, within months I heard from my ex, his solicitor had given him my address, he had employed a private investigator to find it. Contact then started with the girls.

Before The girls were born he made a comment about fathers killing their children, I thought nothing at the time but since I’ve left I’ve worried about it and have always engineered contact so that he is never alone with the girls.

We had a massive row a couple of years ago (money - he expected me to pay back any money he had spent on me despite never letting me work and having a huge credit card debt from paying bills while he sat on his arse and didn’t work)

I didn’t hear from him for a year other than a couple of letters trying to extract money. Last year he decided to make contact again, once again I’m not allowing him to take the girls and I really can’t be bothered to travel to him so suggested he comes to me.

He’s turning up at my house by arrangement, expecting me to cook, sometimes bringing some food with him and generally attempting to be a reasonable human. The problem is I don’t like him very much and I think his company is tedious.

Ive considered telling him not to come over but I’m frightened that if I do that he will take me to court for access and will get unsupervised contact.

What do I do?

OP posts:
GoddessInTraining · 03/04/2018 21:49

If you have genuine concerns for the safety of your children then you should seek legal advice. The welfare of your children comes first, before anything else.

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