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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

do you ever properly trust after betrayal?

0 replies

user21074862 · 03/04/2018 21:13

a colleague at work has been with her boyfriend (both in forties, her kids, him none) for 18 months ..
she found out he'd been cheating on her since the beginning of their relationship about 10 months in when he was outed by a friend. ie all through the 'honeymoon period'
she forgave him as he said she was the love of his life and he felt pressured into it by the ow and didn't know what to do. Recently she's discovered him messaging ow again but he's again saying the ow is blackmailing him and he's afraid of her.
I can't help but think that's rubbish.
she won't listen to reason and says she trusts him and her kids are attached now. Also she's messaged the ow and asked her to back off which apparently she's agreed to.

my colleague thinks that's that and now everything will be rosy in the future.
Won't this bite her in the bum? I want to be there for her but can't believe she's being so blind. Surely he'll do it again? once a cheat and all that?
how can she keep trusting him? (she's only just confided this otherwise I'd have advised her to leave months ago)
also worried she'll make herself I'll eventually wondering... (I would). does anyone actually really really trust someone after betrayal? I guess that's my question really. will he actually be faithful?

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