My best friend has been on and off with her ex for 2 years.
It started off fine (doesn't it always) but then his true colours came out.
He would never put her first, disappear, not call her when he promised too, started to call her names, be rude about her family and friends. He would then expect lifts here there and everywhere and he only ever came round or ring when HE felt like it.
Whenever she would bring up these issues to him, he would make out she was being overly sensitive and expected too much from a relationship. I wont go into detail about some of the things he said about her or her family and friends as ‘banter’ but myself and my partner found them utterly disgusting and so did all her other friends. Her family do not know half of what he is like or what he has said.
Basically, from the outside looking in, it was mental abuse and I know deep down she knows this too, as she has told me.
She has called this off numerous times and gave him numerous chances.
The last time, I thought it might be the end of it all. He basically stalked her and she threatened the police to him.
However, it didn’t last long and admitted to seeing him again in secret.
Then she called it off again, saying she needed to come to the decision on her own and that we all make mistakes by taking people back and knows she deserves better.
Que a week later, I drove past her and he was in the car.
I just need advice. She knows how I feel about the situation, I kept quiet throughout most of it and I was there for her however the last time she called it off, I was brutal I told her what I thought.
I know it’s not my place she’s a big girl but I am finding it difficult to watch my best friend, go through this again, it’s exhausting. It is hurting me as well that she is lying to me however I understand why. The last time it came out she was back to seeing him in secret she cried because she was embarrassed.
However, she seems to be totally isolated with which concerns me. No one knows she’s back seeing him and I only found out by accident.
Do I mention I know and offer support if needed? I am afraid she’s that embarrassed that even if it is horrible again, she will shut up and put up.
Or do I just leave her too it and not say anything?