If someone's 2.5 years out of a 6 month relationship......

[Paradiso1]

Would you expect them to still be on the rebound and still obsessing endlessly over their ex?

erm no. I think generally they say a month for each year you were together is a good rule, so after 2 weeks they should be over it! Obviously that's a bit of a glib rule, but even so, that seems excessive.

If they have been apart for 2.5 years and we're only together for 6 months, why would he/she been interested? It's 2.5 years later..

Absolutely definitely not. That's pretty strange behaviour.

Run away fast.

Yeah, this is in connection with my abusive ex, who I posted about previously. Before me, he was with a woman for 6 months, and their relationship ended approx 2.5 years ago. To describe him as obsessed with her is a massive understatement. He actually knows what she buys in shops, what her new man's day to day movements are etc. He'd talk about her (and even about her new man) for hours upon hours, even before and after sex. It was super creepy, and I kept thinking "this just can't be normal."

No it’s not and he sounds like a stalker. That’s a criminal offence. Run far away.

Erm no thats what MN call a red flag

That's not 'on the rebound' OP. That is stalking.

I wonder if the woman knows?

How would he know what she's buying unless he's following her?

No, absolutely not. Sounds stalkerish and weird.

Got to be honest. I wouldn't even call 6 months a relationship.

But you’re not still with him right? So how do you know he’s still pining after her now? I’m assuming this is the reason you finished with him!

Sounds obsessive. I'm wondering if she was the one who ended the relationship.
I think sometimes there's a certain element of 'the one that got away' mixed in with obsession.

He’s obviously stalking her but the stranger thing is that you knew (he was telling you) and yet still went out with him.

Run that past me again. You are obsessing about your ex obsessing about his ex ... ?

@IfyouseeRitaMoreno

Well I've been broken up with him two months, so I guess I can't say whether or not he is still obsessing over her right this second. But he certainly was for the entire duration of his relationship with me. And it seemed odd that he was doing so given they had broken up 2.5 years ago. Even when he persuaded me to meet up with him a month ago to try to rekindle our relationship, he spent a large portion of that meetup talking about her.

@Senua

If you call one post about it 'obsessing' then I guess I am. I am hoping he will not begin stalking me the way he did her.

@MzCracker

Yes, she is the one who ended the relationship. She said he was abusive.

Hope he's not transferred to you now

How long were you together? I would have gotten very fucked off with hearing about his ex all the time very bloody quickly.
You know it's not normal and also it's no longer your problem, block him, don't meet up with him. Forget him.

That must have been soul destroying for you whilst you were with him.

He's obsessed with her coz he wasn't finished with her. She escaped his clutches and it's probably maddening for him.
Abusive men find it quite hard to relinquish that hold.

@Juells -- I hope not as well! I don't know if they just transfer their obsessive attentions from one ex to the next though?

@MzCracker -- it was utterly humiliating to have him going on about her 24-7. It's really sad that I put up with it. Sure, I did call him out on it frequently, but that didn't stop him continuing to talk obsessively, not only about her, but also about how her new man wasn't 'good enough' for her. I'm No Contact with him. He was making threats at first and generally emailing and messaging me vile, hurtful stuff. But then got my brother to phone him up and give him a warning and not heard from him since.

@WellThisIsShit -- yes it was an absolute joke :(

@MzCracker -- I think you are right. Sinister as it sounds I think it's more of an ego blow for him and that he can no longer control her. I actually had a conversation with the ex and he treated her horribly, and physically attacked her at the end. But to hear him talk about it, she is this huge love of his life and theirs was a "serious, long-term relationship."

Can't remember whether I already posted this but the last time I saw the ex, he said: "Even if she [his ex] gets dumped by her new guy and he leaves her on her own to raise their baby, I don't think I'll take her back and help her raise the kid. Not now. I don't think I'm gonna do it."

The delusion is terrifying. She is likely to ever, ever go back to him as I am to marry Donald Trump.