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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What does a healthy, respectful relationship look like?

26 replies

thisonebreath · 02/04/2018 22:25

DH and I have had another argument. It always revolves around the same thing, apparently I'm not loving enough and there's not enough intimacy. The thing is I don't think this is true. However, my parents argued viciously for 30 years before they finally divorced so I have no frame of reference. All the relationships in my family are dysfunctional.

I know all the red flags, am well versed in what a bad relationship looks like. I know a good one needs to have mutual respect and intimacy but...I don't think I know what that looks like on a day to day basis. Do people all snuggle in the mornings? How much of your evenings do you spend chatting and engaging? How often do people have sex?

We don't cuddle in the mornings which is apparently a problem. We chat briefly in the evenings but then I'm often marking/planning. And then I usually go on my phone. We used to watch a box set together but nothing has recently taken our fancy and tbh I'm 16 weeks pregnant and can't focus for long. We have sex about once a week/maybe ten days.

If we can get over this argument without splitting I'm going to insist on counseling but I'd like to know what I'm aiming for. What does a happy relationship look like on a day to day basis?

Thanks

OP posts:
Dontknowwhatimdoing · 06/04/2018 16:13

It sounds like you both need different levels of physical affection, which is always going to be an issue. I'd hate cuddling every morning, it would make me feel smothered, luckily DH is the same so it's not a problem.

Can you try and find some middle ground so that you both get what you need?

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