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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Gran coming to stay

4 replies

hummusscot · 02/04/2018 22:09

Just looking for a bit of advice!

My gran, god love her, is quite possibly THE most negative person I have ever met. Everything is terrible/awful/going to go wrong. However she also is one of my best friends, helped raise me and is generally wonder woman.

I think she is currently really struggling with the concept of me not being a child anymore and when we speak on the phone weekly she is always negative about my life/plans/etc. I have always been able to tell her everything so it's really getting me down. Eg I am trying to conceive and just got a promotion- apparently I am too young to do either!

She lives in Wales and I live in Scotland which means I don't see her as much as I'd like due to work etc. However I just moved and now have a spare bedroom and she is coming to stay for the first time in about six months! I am really, really, really excited to see her but I am also worried about the negativity side and how she will judge my life when she's here :( She's here for a week and I really want to enjoy it and have good quality time with her but I also don't want to spend 7 days feeling like crap.

Any advice on riding over it/ignoring it/etc?

OP posts:
Schlimbesserung · 02/04/2018 22:13

Ask for her advice a lot, and ask lots of questions about her life. Don't react to the advice.
It sounds like she loves you very much and worries about you not needing her any more. Make a fuss of her and show her how much you value her.
Also, plan days out and activities to limit her time to see things to pick fault with! I'm sure you'll have a lovely time.

Lacucuracha · 02/04/2018 22:13

Just tell her from the offset that this is going to be a happy and lovely visit, with no worry or sadness allowed, because you've missed her and love her so much.

Then if she lapses, tell her 'nan, we agreed no sad stuff' and change the subject.

Gemini69 · 02/04/2018 23:02

it's 7days.... and she helped bring you up... smile and cherish this time... you never know truly how long you have her Flowers

Twogoround · 02/04/2018 23:21

Ask her famliy history question . Record it all . Distract her . Ask about the past .

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