So I just feel like I need to get some stuff off my chest. My husband and I have been together for 10 years, married for 4 and we have a 2 and a half year old daughter together. I’m now 16 weeks pregnant with our second child.
We have been having talks about our relationship for years, I have always felt like I do more in terms of work around the house and our sex life has always been rocky too. Since our daughter was born we made more of an effort to try and even things out and we were happier... for a while.
I just feel recently like I’m very much alone, despite having the two of them in my lives. He does help around the house and he will occasionally come out with us, BUT it always treated like it has a price. If we do anything together then he is ‘owed’ the time back to play his computer games. It just feels like things have been getting worse and worse recently. If I ever tell him how I’m feeling he gets very defensive and will say thing like ‘so you’re trying to say I don’t do anything around the house’, which of course he does. I just keep wondering when my alone time is? The only time I don’t spend with our daughter is when I’m at work (I work part time and she goes to nursery). If I go out with my friends I take her with me, shopping trips I drag her along etc.
The other side of this is I feel like I’m growing to resent my own child. Because of the time we spend together, and her age, I lose my temper with her often and find myself getting fed up. I try to plan activities we can do together out of the house like going to the local park or farm, but then she will throw a tantrum and I’ll end up feeling annoyed and alone again. We don’t have parents nearby, my parents are three hours away and his mum is an hour away (not that she’d want to watch her own granddaughter) so I just feel that I can’t ask someone to watch her for a short time without feeling cheeky.
My main concern is that we are due to have the next baby in September and if things don’t improve I’m going to be a wreck. Lack of sleep, plus toddler tantrums, plus feeling lonely just make me worry about the future. Any advice would be hugely appreciated!