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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Boyfriend or best friend

4 replies

jacobsgirl · 02/04/2018 12:07

Sometimes I feel like my partner and I lead separate lives more like a best friend or roommate sometimes.
He works 9-5 and I'm on Mat leave but soon to return to work.
I love him and he always tells me he loves me , we laugh a lot and we both care for our son and he's a brilliant dad.
The issue is I just feel as if sometimes we are t really a couple or that he just wants to be alone.
Usually he'll come home from work we put little one to bed , I'll make us dinner , and that space of time is really the only time we interact and even then it's only eating together.
Afterwards he'll play FIFA and I'll sit on my phone but I'm only doing that because he's playing a game. I let him because I know it relaxes him and it's something he enjoys - however I'm left after a long day of nearly no adult company , wishing we were doing something together.
Another example is conversation. I love a good chat and I like to ask him questions about his childhood or his opinion on a topic or something random like "what good would you eat for the rest of your life if you could" and always the answer is "dunno"

I just want to keep leaning about him and grow together but I feel as if it's only me who s bothered.
As for sex it's always amazing but it's only ever once a week maximum , we are only in our very early twenties!

I spoke to my mental health nurse about it as it's really pulling me down so she said why don't you surprise him and go to the cinema one night.

So I got DM to agree to watch my little one and said "do you fancy going to a film tonight? My treat"
To which his response was

"Don't mind "

We've literally not been on a date just us two in god knows how long. I know he'd never look at another woman but I just feel sometimes as if I'm annoying him. He then always asks me what's wrong and goes in a huff cause I'm upset but I just don't know what to say to him?

Feel like I'm giving my all and getting little in return

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 02/04/2018 15:05

Well, he's not exactly a best friend, is he? I've had better conversations with a stranger in a queue in the supermarket than you're having with him. He sounds really boring, to be honest. Did he ever show an interest in you (in conversation)?

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 02/04/2018 15:07

Have you ever really had that level of conversation? Did you have it before and now it's stopped; or have you never had it and now you're feeling it more because he's the only adult company that you've got?

jacobsgirl · 02/04/2018 18:33

No we do and used to have conversations like that all the time it's just more since we've had our son it's trailed off

And to be fair he is my best friend we still have a laugh and I can tell him anything and he's very caring and things

It's more sex and fun and youthfulness I feel are missing if you get me

OP posts:
jacobsgirl · 02/04/2018 18:34

The funny thing is since I've posted this he's acted differently - he apologised about the cinema situation and told me he was just tired and was enthusiastic and now we have tickets to see a film

It's suspicious I wonder if he's spying on MN Hmm

OP posts:
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