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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

I'm so sick of DH

6 replies

DolmioDalmation · 02/04/2018 09:10

Been married just under 2 years with a baby and I'm not sure I can handle one more month. I feel like it's the last straw but I asked my husband to wait for me this morning, that I'd be in the shower 5 minutes and he said "yes, of course", only to have gone to take the baby down to his parents.

Why I asked him to wait is a long story and it's not required only that whenever we are around his parents it makes things tough. He acts like a Disney dad when they are there but I have to ask him to do everything at home down to a nappy change or clothing our DC.

I feel like this is it for us, he's constantly doing it in the guise of him "not realising", "not hearing" me or sometimes is says he is adamant I didn't say it.

Has anyone worked through anything like this? Was it worth it? I feel like at this point it'd be a lost cause.

OP posts:

colditz · 02/04/2018 09:58

You KNOW he heard you. And he left anyway.

It does not matter what he says about this because you KNOW what happened. The question is, can you live with it?

lifebegins50 · 02/04/2018 10:57

I think it's passive aggressive.He gets what he wants, when he wants without direct confrontation.

What are his parents/childhood like? PA behaviour is deeply ingrained and suggests he hasn't learnt to communicate or compromise, which are essential relationship skills

mummyzzzz · 02/04/2018 12:15

What was he like before you had the baby?

SandraGreen · 02/04/2018 12:20

Do you mean he will waft down to his parents saying "Oh I am looking after the baby whilst Dolmio has a nice shower and a break" so they all think he is the bees knees?

Did you really want to go to his parents today?

I have to admit I would probably be secretly pleased and go off and do something on my own. Just tell him you told him you were going to the cinema/whatever.

What's the background as this clearly isn't an isolated incident?

peekyboo · 02/04/2018 12:24

That sounds crazy-making. So not only does he do this, which is annoying enough, he then pretends it's all your imagination.

There's no way back without him first being able to admit he does it.

Let him be a Disney dad at weekends, with his Disney parents for a while. Or forever.

Perhaps the threat of this will be enough to improve his hearing for a while. But without proper work, and counselling, I think it's doomed to repeat.

Sorry OP, horrible and aggravating situation

Whocansay · 02/04/2018 17:17

Is baby BF? If not, I'd have gone back to bed and left them to it. It's a really weird thing for him to do though.

You need to challenge him and hold your ground. You asked him to wait, and he responded. Why the Hell did he wait until you were in the shower and then go?

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