Husband left for ow!!

[Lushing]

My husband 42 of 15 years together 23 2 beautiful children (20 & 15)seemed distant with me I asked him what was wrong he said " I love you, I love you to death and I always will but not how a husband should!!" I asked if there was ow he said "no" found out 2 weeks later that was a lie! The ow lived 3.5 hour drive away so didnt see each other often but after 8 months she moved in with him. He has never done anything like this before we were very happy and was still having lots of sex. I'm not sure if its midlife crisis or not? Its almost a year now and i still feel like i cant move on from it!! I'm in the marital home witch he is paying the mortgage and still he hasn't filed for divorce. Has anyone been through something similar who can give me some advice what I should do its awful I feel like he is in LA LA land as he seems to be so different from when we were together.
Thanks in advance x

OP - I am sorry....
Have you had any counselling? If you haven’t - I think it’s something that might help you start making sense of this, and figuring out the way to move on.

I presume you are of similar age to your exH. So - still young enough to pick yourself up and build a new life.

You probably don’t want to hear this, but - it’s unlikely he’ll be back.
It doesn’t matter whether or not it’s a midlife crisis or not. He has moved on. And the best thing for you is find a way to do it as well.

Early 40s is still young, and you will get through this. And will feel better about yourself one day. And find happiness eventually.

Break free for yourself. Take control for yourself and issue divorce papers. As @Josuk said, 'you are young still,' whilst you live in limbo, nothing new and nobody new can enter your life. He most likely will not be back after a year, he may regret it someday, but you should only think about yourself from now on. There is someone else waiting for you to let let go of the past and move into the future.

Hi,I'm so sorry for your troubles. You need to rebuild your life,you can't live in limbo for ever. Seek legal advice about a divorce and separating the finances. I don't know if you have a job,hobbies or a good social life,but all of the above will be good for you to kick start your new life. The world is your oyster,think of all the things you'd like to try,achieve etc and out plans in motion. Don't look back.he is gone. Look forward to the rest of your life with excitement and see challenges as opportunities to learn. Single life can be wonderful and fun. Good luck🌻

From what he said and his actions - paying the mortgage and not filing for divorce - it sounds like a mid-life crisis to me.

OP,
Sorry to hear you're still feeling so sad after so long.

Can't you be the one to start Divorce proceedings, or are you hoping he'll return ?

Sometimes life can be so shitty.

For you

It may well be a mid life crisis, but if he's not come back after this long, he's not going to. I think him continuing to pay the mortgage is his way of easing his guilty conscience.

This is your life. If you want things to remain drifting on as they are, then by all means, maintain the status quo. But if you want to move on and get over him, then file for divorce yourself. Take the decision out of his hands. Take control of your future 💐