lonely

[Todayfrustratingday]

Dh is giving me the silent treatment. A few months back he told me that he wasn't sure if he wants to be married to me anymore. He says I nag too much and put him down and don't let him have any time to do the things he wants to do. Background: I cheated on him briefly years ago, DH found out just days after it had finished. DH seemed to process that there were reasons, we had marriage counselling and things seemed ok.
We've had infertility problems and are childless not through choice. DH said last autumn that I only waned him for a child and that I stayed with him 'cos the OM had no money and could not afford IVF'. Harsh words.

I feel lonely and alone. Spent today with parents and my brother and his kids and my mum got out some old photos which are mostly of all the cousins children as babies. A lot of lumps in my throat were swallowed graciously. I am childless and my DH thinks i'm using him.

I have told DH that I think it is strange that he is putting distance between us and does not want to do anything with me. We don't eat together, sleep together, talk or anything. We don't go out, we do nothing together.

I now get DH telling me that I should have begged him to stay with me 7 years ago when I cheated.

I think we can get through this somehow. Any suggestions?

Bump

Sorry you're feeling low.

Can I ask - why do you want to continue with him? What does he bring to your life?

Just trying to get a broader picture x

Hi. We used to go on holidays together and spend time just chilling out. We had things in common and we got married a long time ago.

I love him and to have to take himself out of my life hurts me. He did say before Christmas that he doesn't know what he wants to do. He seems to either be at work or laid on sofa watching recorded TV programmes and box sets til early hours. If he made a decision about our marriage i would have to accept it but for the last 7 months all he's said is 'i don;t know what i want'.

I think that when you cheated you irrevocably damaged the relationship. He obviously loves you but can't forgive you.

I regret cheating. It was very brief. It was no one he knew. I genuinely wen toff the rails. I was stupid to did what I did. I thought DH and I had put it in the past.

I think we both need counselling. He says he doesn't think it worked last time and won't hear of going again.

Can I ever mend the gap I caused back then?

DH tells me I don't let him do the things he wants to do e.g. work on his car or go out with his friends for a day to a car show or similar.

The truth is: he works shifts and that is more often than not including weekends and on his days off he seems to be doing errands for his mother who now has motility problems. I get moaned because I want to spend time with him and he says his 'job has to come first'. I don't get any of his time.

*mobility problems