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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

texting after first date

22 replies

user1490465531 · 01/04/2018 18:58

I know this question has been asked a zillion times before but went on a date last night fairly good he text last night to say did you get home safe we spoke briefly but nothing since.
Do you still think he's interested as I'm not texting first as I've done this before and basically I later found out they were not that into me in the first place.
Normally I'd be focused on other things but being easter Sunday and bored guess I've got more headspace to think about it.

OP posts:
YearOfYouRemember · 01/04/2018 19:00

Do you like him, do you want to see him again? If so, just text him. It's the time of equality ...

user1490465531 · 01/04/2018 19:02

But old fashioned as it is I want to see if someone's really into me this time

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PrettyLittIeThing · 01/04/2018 19:10

I personally wouldn't text first. And would find it abit of if they hadn't contacted me yet.

Rosielily · 01/04/2018 19:12

He might just be busy himself with it being Easter Sunday. Leave it a day or two and then decide what to do about texting.

user1490465531 · 01/04/2018 19:12

yeah I did say I wasn't fond of texting but still.....oh well guess another one bites the dust

OP posts:
Evelynscorner · 01/04/2018 19:20

If you want to say hello, go for it or call! Being confident is a good thing!

user1490465531 · 01/04/2018 19:24

but the point of it is if I have to chase someone then it feels pointless if that makes sense

OP posts:
Chocolate123 · 01/04/2018 19:26

Just text and say hi how was your day... if he replies and keeps the conversation going he's interested if nothing then you'll know

user1490465531 · 01/04/2018 19:28

but do you think it's reasonable to expect a text by now if he was interestedoing.

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user1490465531 · 01/04/2018 19:28

I mean interested

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kentgirl1 · 01/04/2018 19:32

He might be thinking the same thing as you!!! I don't do all these games, if you like someone then text. He couldn't have thought it was a bad date or he wouldn't have checked to see if you'd gotten home ok.

esk1mo · 01/04/2018 19:35

dont text him then? how can anyone know if he’s interested?

if he texts he is
if you never hear from him again he isnt

meanwhile, you carry on with your life. you’ve managed to get by this far without knowing him, im sure you will be fine either way

littlepill · 01/04/2018 19:37

Know what you mean, it’s a boring afternoon!

I have 2 dates on go - one never stops texting yet have not met yet Hmm so giving up on him, but other is very lovely, just not much of a texted. There is no conversation by text, just polite “thanks for date” style messages. We’ve had 2 dates & I saw him play in something (and he spoke only to me during intervals!!!). Reckon some guys are interested but less emotional about it. Mine very slow, also, cos initially I said to meet as friends. Am in initial phases of taking it further slooooooowly.

Hang on in there! Can you distract yourself?

user1490465531 · 01/04/2018 19:37

I know I'll be fine just wasn't sure if I should write it of already.

OP posts:
RawhideRingpiece · 01/04/2018 19:40

I wouldn’t text. I’m sure loads will say it’s old fashioned but I think if a man is interested he’ll make it obvious.

littlepill · 01/04/2018 19:41

Don’t write it off yet, but try to make it the periphery, and not the centre, of your day.

You (and I!) need a distraction for the rest of the evening! Mine’s visiting his mum but said he will text when he returns (arghhh when is that?!!)

Still at mystery stage, not helpful!

Bexter801 · 01/04/2018 19:43

Why not send a ''had lovely night,hope your well'' sort of text,so it's not any pressure on him to reply(as in no questions),and see what happens

ALittleBitConfused1 · 01/04/2018 19:44

I would judge it on the level of contact there was before the date.
If you text or spoke often before the date but not since then I would assume he isn't that interested.
If it is 'normal' for you not to hear from him for a day or so then I would say just text him in the morning something light.
But IME if there is a connection/chemistry there then I would've expected to hear from him today. I know if I can't be arsed to keep the contact consistent after a date (as before it) then it's because I'm not really interested.

Evelynscorner · 01/04/2018 19:47

It's not fair to leave it all to him. If you like him, message him.

esk1mo · 01/04/2018 19:48

its not even been 24 hours, you dont have to write anything off.

just put it to the back of your mind. if he gets and touch and you want to see him, then do so. if you dont want to then say no thanks.

user1490465531 · 01/04/2018 19:51

we didn't text much before the date TBH.

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littlepill · 01/04/2018 19:58

Well there you go!

Mine went like this:

  • vv little texting before. Arranged over 1 email but he texted a reminder half hour before.
  • Date 1
  • Next day from him: thank you for great eve. Let’s meet another time?
  • My reply later same day
  • Reply from him few days later
  • My reply same day
  • Nothing for a week, then a bit of to and fro while we organised
  • Date 2
  • I wrote first to say thanks/got back safely
  • He replied next day

So pretty quiet! I did also ask him out for date 3 at vv last minute & he was busy. But - later the same eve, he said he suggested we meet after Easter.

It’s such a different pace for me! Very slow indeed...

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