I'll try to keep this brief without drip feeding.
DH has been taking out his anger and frustration on me for too long. He resents me being a SAHM but encouraged me to become pregnant with DC2 while I was still caring for our 3yo DS. So I'm 29 weeks pregnant now. I'm having a ROUGH pregnancy. I have HG. Ive had huge bleeds including one where I was blue-lighted to A&E. Please don't ask me why I got pregnant with his child, I am where I am now and I can't change that.
On Mother's Day DS was up half the night with that fever. I was ill too. DH sulked because I wouldn't drive him to a nearby city he'd been wanting to visit to look at book shops. And I spent 2 hours at the midwife only to arrive home and be told he'd had enough of DS and was going upstairs for a bath. That night I completely broke down, a blubbering mess. DH had got really shitty with me for buying bottled water because the tap water here tastes awful to me, and I can’t handle that with my awful pregnant guts. I was livid with him initially but later just felt very sad and alone, like he didn’t understand that how if drinking water was a struggle for me then doing pretty much anything else must be more of a struggle.
So I told him that he’d been unkind to me and I didn't like sharing a bed with him. And that he’s not behaving like a husband or a father, and that it’s hard enough for me to get through each day without his constant disapproval and mardiness.
That was a few weeks ago. Fast forward to today. Last night DS had a croupy cough/wheeze and I wanted him in bed with me so that I could monitor him. DH became angry about having to sleep upstairs on the guest bed. This morning he stayed in bed until 9.30 while I sorted out DS, arrived downstairs to give DS his Easter egg, then took himself off for an hour long bath because his back hurt from the spare bed. About an hour ago I was sick making lunch so I sat down for a minute. DH said ‘ok I’ll go and get myself something to eat’. Then he started shouting at me because apparently I looked at him really nastily. Then he started pacing the house shouting about how all I do is make him feel bad. In front of DS. I burst into tears.
I’m so upset. I’m too tired to look at anyone nastily. I just want to go to bed. I’m just trying to survive this pregnancy and look after DS. I can’t deal with him too. It’s too much.
Anyway I asked DH to leave, just for a night or two. So that I could have a break from his anger. He says he can't as he has nowhere to go. But he's gone off for a walk now and I've locked the door behind him.
I guess I'm asking what my next move should be? He's no help to me here. He's cruel to me. He shouts at DS. I'm not fearful of violence at all but I'm tired of being an emotional punchbag. Shall I just not let him back in? That seems a bit dramatic and cruel.